Stress Less: Strategies for a Fulfilling Life

In this episode, Megan Devito discusses the importance of being intentional with work and life decisions, emphasizing the need for balance and stress management. 

She encourages listeners to reflect on their values and how these can guide their choices, ultimately leading to greater confidence and resilience. 

The conversation highlights practical strategies for managing stress and making values-based decisions to create a fulfilling life, not only in the new year and through Q1 but all year long.

Key Takeaways

• Being intentional with your work aligns with your values.
• Work-life balance doesn't mean strict hours; it's about flexibility.
• Stress management is crucial for clearer thinking and creativity.
• Identifying your values helps in making better decisions.
• Journaling can clarify what you want in life.
• Overthinking often stems from unclear goals and values.
• Values-based decisions lead to increased confidence and resilience.
• Stress can be a motivating factor for action.
• Understanding your values is key to personal growth.
• You have the power to create the life you want.

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Transcript

Megan Devito (00:00)
I had an agenda this morning that was all set. I had a list made, I had ideas about what I could finish before I had to leave to go coach a swim meet, and then I got a phone call from family member asking me for some important without giving it a second thought, of course, I said yes with absolutely no guilt or questions. And as I was driving home from helping them out, it occurred to me that this is a message that so many people need to hear, especially right now in the end of Q4, in this season of hustle and bustle and preparing for a new year where we just start that entire process of overthinking and worrying and overworking again. Let's not do that next year. 

Let's pause long enough to think about why we work and why we're doing what we're doing. Is it to find success and to make money? Of course it is. But often the things that we're working so hard to have the money to do, or to find that success
are to be able to provide for our families, to be present, to experience joy, to have flexibility. So I just wanted to ask you, do you have time to relax? Do you work so much that you never get the full benefit of your work, so you just keep working to an end that never comes? If that sounds like you. 

Today in this episode, I wanna talk to you about how being intentional with your work, with what you say yes and no to, and with your energy,
helps you make decisions that align with your values so that you can get more success, not just in your job, but also in your personal life. So that when you're working, you're working towards an end that feels really good and sustainable because you deserve to be able to be there for your family, not just in some crisis scenario or health situation or at a time when everybody is stuck, but
on a July afternoon when you just want to be able to spend some time with them, but in the back of your head, you still feel compelled to continue working. 

Let me be clear. When I'm talking about work-life balance, I don't mean you have to have set hours every single day and only work those hours, then shut off whether you're done or not. There will be cases where you can do that, and that's great. But there will also be seasons where you have to work more, like Q4. And there will be seasons where you get to work less.

But ideally, the situation that we're looking for here is to have the flexibility to choose when you're able to spend time with your family and what you devote your attention and intention to. One of the things my clients often set as their goal to be more present. And that doesn't just mean present with their kids or their spouse or their partner, but also present in their job. And when you are more present in your job,

You have clearer thoughts. You have more creative thinking. You have calmer energy so that you can finish your job well without so many mistakes, without overworking, without freaking out, and then having to start all over again. And this all comes from stress management and having boundaries.

I mentioned at the beginning of this episode that I was working on some things and one of those things is a workshop. I'm gonna duplicate that workshop again this week as this episode comes out and again throughout the new year because it is the foundation of what I teach. So if that sounds like something that you are interested in, you should be sure to check out the page where you can register for an upcoming workshop to learn the techniques that I teach on a regular basis in this workshop but also more in depth with my clients. 

Today I wanna talk to you about just a few of the premises in this episode so that you can enjoy the rest of this holiday season or the rest of the year with less stress, but also carry that forward into the new year so that you feel really good about where you are and where you're headed. So let's go ahead and get started with some simple things that I will teach in the workshops and that I go much further in depth in my coaching. And let's begin with just simple ways that you can manage stress on a daily basis without overthinking and without feeling overwhelmed. To begin,

Before you can do anything, you have to realize that so much of our stress and overthinking comes from leaving open loops inside of our brain. And what I mean by that is that when we're going against our personal values, it leaves too much wiggle room for overthinking. You start to question what you want or how you're going to do it.

Maybe what other people will think of you because it's not aligned with what's important to you. You're basing your thoughts and your judgments and your choices off what's important to someone else. Do you know your values? If you don't, that's something that we can work on inside of a coaching container and that you can learn through a Boundaries and Balance audit with me. You can check those things out in the show notes, both the links are right there and available to you right now. But for today, let's look at values, let's think about what your values might be, and then decide what you want your life to look like. This is a really great journal prompt that I do myself, that I recommend to my clients, and that you can do simply. I want you to imagine that as you're writing that you're looking back on the present. 

So picture yourself in the future, and looking backward on where you are right now. What are you doing today that will get you to that future place? So look at your values. How did you decide what you wanted? Why does your life look the way that you imagined you want it to look? When we talk about making values-based decisions, you're looking at those values then deciding what you want your life to look like. This is the next step.

What is it that you want? What is it that you don't want? Is it something that you think you should want or something that someone else wants for you? Or what do you want your work life to look like and what do you want your home life to look like? This is a whole life experience. So as you're doing these journal prompts

Write as if it's past tense. What did you do that got you to where you were? A really great way to pose this to yourself as you're getting ready to write is how is it that I was able to do these things? And when you look backwards, your brain works at it in a different angle so that you make decisions based on your values or what's important to you as opposed to I don't know what to do next. But what I want you to do is use your values to make the decisions.

And this really comes from getting detailed on what is right for you based on those values that you've identified. And the more that you write, the more you will notice themes coming up. From there, you need to figure out what is out of balance. Because when you're making decisions that aren't based on your values, we can get in that frantic, rushed, hurried energy. What is it that's keeping you busy, that's keeping you focused on other things? What feels bad that you just keep doing because it's a habit at this point?

This again goes back to that Boundaries and Balance audit. It's a really quick and insightful way for you to find those spots where you're spending way too much time and energy overthinking and maybe people pleasing and then find what needs a little bit of love in your life or maybe a little more attention in your life so that you can start propping those areas up because if part of your life is off balance, it's going to throw off every other part of your life. I know that seems weird, but I want you to picture a car with a flat tire.

It starts with a tiny hole in the tire, right? And the more you drive on it, the flatter the tire gets. And the flatter the tire gets, the harder it is to drive. The same thing is true with your day-to-day life. The more that you keep doing those same habits that you don't wanna do anymore, the more your life is going to feel out of balance. So once you find your values, and once you know what you want from yourself, you're gonna know what needs your attention.

You can start creating that full picture that you want to help you be able to have more time to be present at home or to really strategize your job. And you can be intentional about your work so that you're prepared, so that you don't have to do it over and over again or overthink the process in general. are closing the thought loops for clearer thinking, more resilience, and more confidence.

So as you start making decisions based on your values, you are able to back up and say, okay, I did this, it felt good, it moved me forward, or I did this, but it didn't work out, what do I need to do differently? And instead of judging yourself, instead of questioning whether you're on the right track, you start to say, wait a second, that didn't work last time, I'm gonna try this instead. You stop trash talking yourself.

You start to feel really good and you start to take more chances and you start to see that success without having to rush, without having to scramble and without missing out on what's important to you. This is how confidence and resilience go together and how you start creating the life that you want based on those very basic values that are so important to you. 

And the thing about values is that they're personal, right? Your values don't have to be the same as your brother or your sister or your parents or anyone else's because what's important to you is why you were created and what it is that makes you really good at what you do. You have to know those things. And as you do that, it's going to push you in the right direction because you're going to know that your energy is aligned and you're like, wait a second, this makes so much sense. This is why I've loved doing this thing since I was five years old. Or this is why I've always been really good at whatever it is that you're really good at.

As you do that, you're going to see those doors start to open and things are going to become easier. And another layer to this that is so important, no matter if you are aligned or not, is really managing the day-to-day stresses. Because as much as I would like to tell you that, and once you have this, you'll never feel stressed or anxious again, that's just simply not true because you are human. And humans go through phases where they're stressed and where they're anxious. And to be clear, some stress and even some anxiety is good.

I know a lot of people don't like to hear that because it's super uncomfortable and we don't like it. But stress is motivating. If you were never stressed, you would never have the forward motion that you needed to take action. You'd just be like, whatever, I'll get to it later. If you were never anxious, you would never change things. You would just stay flatlined and that's not good either. So what we wanna do is we wanna manage the big stress and the big anxiety, make values-based decisionsand make sure that your life has balance so that holistically you are looking at everything that's happening, that is moving you collectively all together in forward motion towards what it is that you want. And again, it goes back to that idea of, you know what you want? Did you journal what you want your life to look like? It's so basic and so many people just don't take the time to do it and they're like, ugh, I do not have time to journal. I don't even know what I want. If you don't know what you want, my guess is you don't know what your values are either. It all goes together hand in hand.

So what we wanna do is we wanna get everything back on track so that you can think clearly, so that you can have the peace of mind and the confidence and the grit to move forward, even when things feel a little murky about what the right next step is. Even if you're not absolutely sure that you made the right choice, because that's okay, that's how we grow. I wanna tell you a quick story about a client that I've been working with. This client came to me because they felt anxious about a lot of different important decisions that they had going on in their

Some, or maybe even all of which, might apply to your life as well. they were asking them questions like, am I doing the right and best thing that I can do for my family? Am I in the right career that I want to be in? Or is it time to change my career? Maybe this is like old news. Maybe I'm not into it. Maybe it's not stable. What if I take a new job and they regret hiring me? But what if I don't take that job and I'm stuck right where I am? How do I know the right answers?

It was just a lot of overthinking situations based on legitimate questions that they had for themselves. And granted, the problems that they had could have actually happened. But the real problem was making decisions based on fear of what other people might think of them or what they thought others would think about what they should do. So here's what happened.

I started asking questions about what's important to you. What do you think the right answer is? What would you do if you couldn't mess up? And once they finally understood that they were already a great parent and great spouse, that they are an incredible asset to what is now their old employer, and I'm proud to say their brand spanking new employer, their confidence started to grow. And this person has changed what they say about themselves and what they believe about themselves.

and what they're capable of experiencing and doing, not only at work, but how they can spend their time and energy with their family or out having fun with their friends. They are making values-based decisions that stretch them and that help them grow their confidence and resilience. And you can do it too. It's not just a them thing. I have helped lots of people do this. And if you're ready to learn more about this, I would love for you to join me in one of my upcoming workshops.

Or if you're like, forget that, Megan, I just need help right now. Let's do an audit together. There are so many different options and ways that you can work with me. Let's find one that's right for you. You can reach out in lots of different ways, but here's a couple that are simple. You can email me. Actually, email. An email at this point is kind of old fashioned, right? But do that, it's easy. It's megan, M-E-G-A-N, at megandevito.com. You can find me on YouTube, obviously. You can find me on LinkedIn and you could just send me a message there.

I would love to set up a time to chat, just to be able to help you find what you need to feel fantastic without scrambling, without all the hustle, without all the overwhelm, because nobody wants to feel that way. I don't want that for you. I want you to love your life and to bring your very best self into the world, because we need everybody running on all cylinders. You can do it. I am cheering for you. I am so grateful that you listened today. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for leaving a review.

Thank you for tagging somebody else and sharing this episode with them. You guys, I am wishing you a very incredible week and I will talk to you again next week. Take care.