Ep 142 - To-Do List Overwhelm: How To Have More Time & Success

To-Do List Overwhelm: How To Have More Time & Success

Are you constantly feeling overwhelmed, like time is slipping away and your to-do list is endless? In this episode of More Than Anxiety, I'm sharing practical strategies to help ambitious women like you find more time and energy for what's most important, without sacrificing success or freedom. Learn how to break free from the anxiety spiral and create a life that truly lights you up, all year long.

In this episode, we'll cover:

• 0:03 Why To-Do List Overwhelm is a common struggle for busy women.
• 4:36 Understanding why traditional to-do lists can feel like straitjackets.
• 9:44 The power of identifying your core values to create lists that actually work for you.
• 12:07 How limiting your daily "must-dos" to 3-4 value-aligned activities creates more time.
• 13:54 The liberating method of creating a "Ta-done" list to celebrate achievements and build motivation.
• 17:18 How intentional planning actually leads to more freedom and spontaneity and effective overwhelm management.
• 19:59 Understanding different types of overwhelm (mental, physical, emotional) and how to reduce them.

Ready to finally create more time for what matters most to you?

Take the next step: 

➡️ Get started with my new 5-day audio course, "Less Overwhelm - More Life," for just $49! Each day includes a quick 6-8 minute audio and one simple action step to remove something from your life. Learn more and enroll here:  megandevito.com/lessoverwhelm-morelife 

Want more personalized support for time management and work-life balance? 

➡️ Visit megandevito.com to learn more about my coaching or schedule your free Boundaries and Balance Audit.

Thanks for listening!

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You can feel calmer, clearer, and more confident in just 5 days with my audio course, Less Overwhelm - More Life! ($49)

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to More Than Anxiety
• 5:25 Where Did Summer Go?
• 9:22 Creating Space with Less Overwhelm
• 13:59 Why Lists Feel Overwhelming
• 17:02 Creating Lists That Work For You
• 20:42 The To-Done List Method

Transcript

Hey there, welcome to the More Than Anxiety podcast. I'm Megan Devito, and I help ambitious women break out of the anxiety spiral so they can stop overthinking and actually enjoy life.

This podcast is all about real talk, simple shifts, and lightbulb moments that'll change the way you think, feel, and show up for yourself and everyone else in your life too. You'll get straight-up truth, actionable steps, and the inspiration to finally break free from stress and second-guessing. Let's get to it.

Welcome to this week's episode of More Than Anxiety. I'm so glad you're here today. If we've not met before, my name is Megan Devito. I'm a coach, and I help women work through overwhelm, stress, and anxiety so they can start putting down and holding boundaries. This gives them more energy and time for family, friends, and career success. It's about feeling confident in your life, doing what you want, being successful, and having a good time too. I believe in balance—a holistic approach to looking at every part of your life.

Today, I want to talk about summer. As you're listening, we're almost halfway through July, and I don't know what happened! It feels like summer just started, and school begins in less than a month where I live. So, I want to talk about how to truly enjoy the rest of what summer offers without feeling like you can't take your foot off the gas at work or anywhere else. Let's talk about where summer went and how to grab hold of it before it's completely gone, because it flies by! They weren't joking when they said time flies as you get older. It truly feels like warp speed. I understand that constant feeling of time slipping away.

One thing I hear often on social media is, "You only get 18 summers." That's not true, by the way. My oldest just turned 25, and we still hang out in the summer! We just had a great family weekend at the lake. So, if you're a young mom thinking, "18 isn't that many," it’s simply not true. However, I do want to help you enjoy those formative summers to the max while your kids are still under your roof and you have a bit more control of their time. You shouldn't have to put work in front of your family life, because nobody wants to do that.

Yes, I know that feeling of time slipping away, of having so much to do. "I was going to paint the kitchen," "I need to take this stuff to Goodwill," "Oh my gosh, I have this big project at work." It feels like you can't do anything fun or even hang out in the sunshine. Let's find time for the things you want to do and the things you need to do. When we talk about schedules, responsibilities, and all the things that feel like they're stealing your time, we need to put some constraint around them, but also bring in some organization.

Speaking of shifting your time, I want to tell you about my new audio course: Less Overwhelm, More Life. It helps you create more time in a short, five-day audio course. You might be thinking, "Wait a second, I already have too much on my to-do list, and now you're adding a five-day course?" Yes, but hold on.

This audio course is delivered through five daily emails. The audios are only six to eight minutes long—you can listen in the shower, while making dinner, commuting, or even weeding the garden. Every day, I'll give you an action step that takes something off your to-do list or calendar. You'll automatically gain more time, more energy, and more space to get clear on what you want and what's truly important to you.

I know the idea of what's on your current list probably feels overwhelming. "How did all this get here when it's supposed to be summer?" "How can I be successful at my job and still have fun with my kids?" So, I'm going to talk about lists. If you're groaning because you hate lists, or feel like your list is the problem, or don't even make lists because they feel awful, let's talk about those feelings. I've been there.

As a life coach, I've raised four kids with a husband who worked 60+ hours a week. I was effectively a single mom most of the time, balancing work, kids, and even coaching swim teams. I deeply understand what it's like to have a truly jam-packed schedule and feel like you can't get everything done.

For years, I resisted making lists because freedom of time is one of my top values. I love being able to say, "Of course, I can meet you for lunch!" or "Absolutely, I can help you move!" That flexibility was a big reason I moved out of the classroom. So, at that point, I resisted lists.

Let's explore why making another list might feel absolutely disgusting to you.

1. Feeling Constrained or Trapped: This is what I just described. If a list feels like it's holding you to a rigid routine you hate, like a noose around your neck, I get it. You don't want to be stuck in what you think you have to do when you already have too much.
2. The Never-Shrinking List: Another reason you might resist lists is the idea that everything on it just keeps getting longer. The list never shrinks; you keep doing more, but it keeps growing. You never actually finish what's on it, right? Things just keep popping up. This happens. (I tell my husband all the time, "You create your list, I don't know your list!" and that's true for everyone.)
3. Overwhelm or Self-Judgment: The list itself can become a source of stress. It can make you feel like a "hot mess," wondering why all these things are on it and why you can't cross them off. This might make you feel judgy about yourself and your ability to be successful if you're not knocking every single thing off every single day.

But what happens if you don't have a list? There are two sides to this. You can hate lists and still need them. When you learn to use them correctly, in a way I'll teach you, they make all the difference.

If you avoid lists, you often feel scattered and disconnected. This was me. As much as I love freedom and flexibility, I also felt scattered, disconnected, and distracted because I was constantly trying to remember everything in my head. I'd run late, forget meetings, forget about the laundry. Not making a list actually gave me less time because I was always running behind or trying to remember where I left off.

The other thing that happens without a list is you become less productive and feel more anxious. When you're scattered, late for meetings, or forget appointments ("Mom, you said we could go do this!"), or your boss asks about a forgotten project, you suddenly feel anxious. "How did I forget that? Why can't I remember everything?" You have to redo things, which wastes more time, or try to squeeze them into non-existent "nooks and crannies" of your life. It's truly a "bat-shit crazy" cycle: "I hate the list, I love the list, I need the list, I don't want the list!" I get it. We want to find a way to make you feel less overwhelmed, so you have more flow in your life.

So, what do we do? First, we need to identify your core values. By values, I mean your deeply personal motivators, your non-negotiables. For me, it's freedom of time and family time. These coincide; my family comes first 100% because I want them to. Your values might be volunteering, art, nature, spirituality—it's all good, but you have to know what's important to you first.

These values become your non-negotiables. This is about aligning your actions and what you put on your list (if you create one) with what truly makes you you. It's not just a box to check; it's a reflection of who you are. This is something I help people do all the time when I'm their coach. I also offer a free Boundaries and Balance Audit on my website, megandevito.com. It's a great way to look at all areas of your life, see what's working and what's not, and where you need to focus your attention. It's also a fantastic way to start a list.

The second idea is to create a list that works for you, not against you. Your list should never feel like a straitjacket. It should be a flexible guide, like bowling bumpers—it gives you flexibility while helping you stay on track and move forward successfully.

Let's talk about the size of your list. If you're like many people, or even me some days, your list feels way too long because you're putting everything under the sun on it. What we want to do is focus on your non-negotiables first. You know your values, so add those to your list first. That's the best way. These are my values, and these are the things that align with them. Only put those things on your list. That might only be three things a day. Perfect, that's great! Or, maybe you make a weekly list like me.

I am a paper and pencil girl. I write everything for the entire week on one page. I chunk it up into categories: podcast, newsletter, clients, social media. My entire week fits on one page. It comes out to about three, maybe four things a day. That's all that's manageable.

When you put those non-negotiables on first, it allows the other, tinier things in your life to start falling into the cracks. Because you've scheduled the non-negotiables, you create those cracks. So, you have more time for things like changing the laundry or running to the store for taco ingredients. You have that time because you've created a manageable list. You're not scattered and trying to chase everything down at once.

Now, if a "to-do list" feels like "oh my God, don't tell me what to do," let's make a "Ta-done" list instead.

A "Ta-done" list is something you can do at night before bed. I started this years ago. My grandmother had these calendar diaries where she'd note the weather, the price of corn, what she ate. It was so sweet, I adopted it. I even used a similar practice to work my way out of a severe anxiety disorder.

You can work your way out of overwhelm and stress by doing this. I want you to write down one thing you're grateful for every night before you go to bed. I do it every night; it takes two minutes. I have a little calendar by my bed for it.

I like to write down things that went well for me every single day, at least one. I'd even focus just on one, because when you make your brain choose one thing, suddenly you see a ton of things that went well, and you're like, "Oh, I just get to pick one!" It's powerful. We want to pare it down to, "These are the things I got done." By the end of the week, you'll say, "Look at all these things that went well, that I accomplished this week!" Instead of focusing on what you need to do, you celebrate and motivate yourself by seeing what you did.

There are different ways to do this. You can do what works best for you. I like to note what worked, what didn't, and what I'll do differently tomorrow. You might just list everything you accomplished for the day. A "Ta-done" list allows you to say, "Hey, look at me getting these things done!" Maybe that becomes your daily list, so you can celebrate instead of having that overwhelming bucket list. We're creating gratitude, which is incredibly motivating, just in a different way than a traditional to-do list.

If you're a "box checker" like me, you can even check things off your "Ta-done" list. There's something super addictive about that checkmark! I've been known to add things to my list just to check them off. That's okay if it motivates you, because what we're looking for here is more time and the motivation to get things done while still being able to do the things we want to do.

This "Ta-done" list doesn't have to be completely focused on your job. I'd actually say that if you took your kids to the pool, or helped your neighbor shop, whatever lights you up—that goes on your list. It's all about what you're grateful for and what you wanted to do for the day. Some of your "wants" are going to be "needs," like work, or wanting to be successful in your job, or wanting to clean out your closet. Put it on the list! It's not about what's on the list; it's about celebrating what you're doing so you have more motivation the next day.

When you start being intentional, a lot of things begin to change in your life. One major change is that you feel really good about your time. You start to feel more in control of your time rather than feeling like your time is controlling you. That list, instead of feeling like a straitjacket, starts to feel very open and free, like you get to choose how you spend your time. This is incredibly important because we know that burnout and overwhelm are at all-time highs.

People are stressed and anxious. I recently talked about the "infinite workday," which I think is the worst thing in the world. This new approach takes away from that, creating more of a life for you. It also allows you to celebrate your accomplishments and see your successes, so you start to shift what you think you can do versus what you're already doing. You don't have to wait to celebrate; you can do it now.

You'll celebrate your successes at work and at home, and you'll be truly present in your personal life because you have more time. You're not constantly thinking about the next thing on your to-do list. This balance is so important. Yes, you can be amazingly successful at work and have a personal life. I know that feels scary. Often, we throw more things on our list because we feel anxious or stressed about not doing enough. This is exactly what I help people work through as their coach.

We can talk about that audio course, one-on-one coaching, or both on a Boundaries and Balance Audit. All the links are in the show notes.

If you're looking for more joy, more peace, more time, more energy, and more success, you have to start writing down the things that are most valuable to you and celebrating what you're already doing. Who doesn't want that? Who doesn't want to feel really, really good?

This is your door to reclaiming your time. This is you being able to have more lake days, more chances to go outside and just sit, maybe a night swim, or days just to take a walk. If it's a rainy day, lay on your couch and hang out with your family, go have lunch with your friends—all while you're killing it at your job, your house is organized, and you're thinking, "Dang, I am killing this mom thing! This is amazing, I love what I do!" This is where it comes from.

Let's talk a little more about less overwhelm. Overwhelm is anything that's stealing your mental energy, your physical energy, or your emotional energy. You can be emotionally, physically, and mentally overwhelmed—and all three at the same time.

If you want less of that and more time for what is important to you, check out my 5-day audio course, Less Overwhelm - More Life. It's only $49. You get one email, one eight-minute audio, and one action step to remove something from your life for five days in a row. After that, if you want to take it a step forward, let's talk about coaching. But for right now, let's start breaking those old habits (and yes, thoughts are habits!) that are keeping you stuck repeating the same patterns of overworking, overgiving, and start finding gratitude and space.

All right, I'll be back again next week. I hope to see you on my audio course this week. I can't wait to get started with you, and I'd love to hear what you think. Leave a comment on this video if you're watching it on YouTube. Leave a review wherever you listen to your podcast, so more people can find the help they need. Let's get everything straightened out so the entire world can take a collective breath and start living their best lives. That's how things change, guys.

Thanks for listening. I love being here, and I'll be back again next week. Take care.

Hey, before you go! I just want to say thanks for hanging out with me on More Than Anxiety. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a review so more people can find it too. And if you're ready to see what's going well (so you can celebrate more!), what's not working or what's keeping you stuck, and have a focused, intentional step forward, join me for a Boundaries and Balance Audit. You'll learn all about the audit and choose a time that works best for you at megandevito.com. Just head to the show notes, click the link, and let's talk. I can't wait to connect with you soon!