More Than Anxiety

Ep 121 - Reduce Stress & Anxiety: The Un-Time Management Method with Lissa Figgins

• Megan Devito • Episode 121

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Tired of hearing about "time management"?

Join Lissa Figgins and me in this episode of More than Anxiety to learn Lissa's take on managing your time. Lissa is an "un-time management strategist" who debunk the myth that controlling every minute will bring you peace.

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why your busyness is a heart problem, not just a scheduling one.
  • How to shift your beliefs about time to live with more intention.
  • Lissa's story of overcoming chronic time anxiety.
  • Simple steps to have more time and more success.

Listen now and learn how to break the time anxiety cycle.

Connect with Lissa Figgins
Get Lissa's Redeem Her Time Planner and get the Free Digital Course with purchase.
Listen to the Redeem Her Time podcast.

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You know you're overwhelmed, burned out, sick to death of work but also trying to do everyting for everyone at home. TAKE THIS QUIZ to find out why you're so overwhelmed and what to do about it.

Megan Devito:

Welcome to the More Than Anxiety Podcast. I'm Megan Devito and I help ambitious women break out of the anxiety cycle that keeps them frustrated and stuck. Get ready for a lighthearted approach that will change what you think, how you feel and what you believe about yourself. This podcast is full of simple steps, a lot of truth, talk and inspiration to take action, so you walk away feeling confident, calm and ready to live. Let's get to it.

Megan Devito:

Hey everybody, welcome to episode 121 of the More Than Anxiety podcast. I'm super excited that you are here today. You get to meet Lissa Figgins, so this is a big deal. I am not even going to try to introduce her. I love it when people introduce themselves because it's natural for them and they do such a better job of telling everybody what we do. So, Lissa, thank you so much for joining me today.

Lissa Figgins:

Yeah, thanks, Megan. I love us curly girls got to hang out together. We just found out we're both in the Midwest, which is really fun, and I have a lot of ties to where you live, so I love how like paths cross, even when we're virtual and things like this. But I'm Lissa Figgins, it's Melissa, without the.

Megan Devito:

I'm sorry.

Lissa Figgins:

It's fine, because it's not about me, that's how I say it, and I am an un-time management strategist for busy women.

Lissa Figgins:

Who in the planet is not feeling busy, especially this time of year, right? Or any time of year? It doesn't just have to be the holidays or a season of everybody else busy, I think it's. It's become the norm, right, that life is just always busy, busy, busy and we wear it like this badge of honor and then we're trying to like keep up with it all and it's exhausting.

Lissa Figgins:

And that's really why my heart is to help women to turn time management on its head, because I believe that we are fed the lie that if we could just be better at managing our time, then it would fix all of our time problems, right, it would fix our anxiety around our time and all of that.

Lissa Figgins:

That's part of my story. But the reality is our busyness is not just a disordered calendar, it's a disordered heart. So it goes way deeper than I just got a pretty planner and I do have an amazing new one that I just published We'll talk about that later but, like it goes way deeper than I've got these great time blocks and I've got an organized to-do list and I've got alarms and reminders and things like that set on my phone, cause it's really going down to what am I prioritizing when? Where am I spending my time? What matters matters. I think we give a lot of our time away to lesser things, and then we went around like a chicken with our head cut off, saying I don't have enough time, and now I'm stressed and anxious and worried about there not being enough, right, yeah?

Megan Devito:

I love how you just like go straight for it too right? Like look, this is not a time management problem.

Megan Devito:

This is a heart problem and I'm like whoa, we're gonna go deep on this one. You guys, this is going to be fun. So let's start there. Tell me what you mean by a heart problem, because I think that that's a big deal. People are like, wait, no, everything's fine, but it's not. I mean, we know it's not, right? Everybody's stressed out, everybody's anxious, everybody's scrambling, especially at the holidays, which this episode is going to come out right probably between Christmas and New Year's, and we're still scrambling. Christmas is over. It's like that week of we're not sure what's supposed to happen. Yeah, but we're also going into that new year, so let's just knock out the new year, okay.

Lissa Figgins:

So I love that you said this, because the week between Christmas and New Year's is my one of my favorite weeks of the year because, like you said, like the Christmas rushes past I think there's a Christmas song about that but, like you know, like you can just sit there with your mug of hot cocoa or cider and put your feet up and you don't have. You don't have a list to check of all the gifts, you don't have all this hosting to do. You don't have whatever. If you do work, you may still be off work or kids are off school schedules, and so it kind of just is this like, and I think we get in there and we're like, okay, if only life could be like this. But we all know reality of next Monday or whenever it is that we have to go back to those routines and, you know, be slaves to our clocks and calendars is is beyond us. And so, anyway, what my point is? I think so often we think once X happens, then I'll have more time. So once the holidays are over, then I'll have more time. Once this project is done, then I'll have more time. Once my kids grow up or start driving or move out of the house, then I'll have more time.

Lissa Figgins:

I'm here to tell you that is a lie. I'm a straight shooter because I'm like we don't have time. Pun intended, right. Who, like beat around the bush? Right, here's the reality. Like, again, every single one of us, every person listening to me, listening to this, right now, god gave you 24 hours yesterday, he gave you 24 hours today and he will give you 24 hours tomorrow, right, like that has not changed since the creation of the world and right, so it number one, it is a lie that you don't have time or that you are going to have more time and X happens, right, right, but I think the lie we believe.

Lissa Figgins:

So I am an, I'm a midlife woman and I specifically love talking to women in midlife because I feel like there's so much out there for those busy moms who are, like you know, wrangling the kids and their taxi, moms and they've got to show up to the parties and like volunteer and, like you know, put together the costumes and all that. Been there, done that. Don't want to go back, but it was amazing when I was there, right, yeah, so, anyway, I feel like this, like midlife season, whether you still have kids under your roof or whether they've all moved out. Mine, all three have already moved out. I have one in college, so she's technically, you know, comes back, you know, for holidays, but the other two are out on their own doing big, you know big kid things, adult things, starting families.

Lissa Figgins:

Yeah, your time does not magically all of a sudden just like appear and feel amazing. You know, like because number one, it was a lot easier to contain your time when your kids were all under your, your roof, let's be honest. Then mine are literally spread from East coast to West coast and we are here in the Midwest and they're now multiplying right with marriages and kids and, you know, grandkids and stuff. So my time is now spread in so many more directions. Plus, my mind is always thinking about them. Right?

Lissa Figgins:

But the other thing I think that happens is over time we take on more. So, while you may not be playing taxi mom anymore, in that this season of life you are, you've taken on other roles. You've taken on other things you're caring for aging parents, your own health and wellness, your you know leadership positions, your career, that now you're really advancing in your you know business, that you're, that you're really wanting to grow Like. So I think we need to just not believe the lie that we don't have time. Because you do, you've got 24 hours. And number two I think we need to stop saying I'll have time when, because it isn't going to change anything. And here's where it comes down to our thing right, because logistically we do have time, we always have, we always will Right. But the the problem is we give our time away to a lot of lesser things. You want to know that someone truly loves and values. There are two places you can look. Do you know what they are?

Megan Devito:

I'm, my first guess would be their screen time on their phone. Okay, that's a big one. Like where's your screen time? Yeah, yeah.

Lissa Figgins:

Yeah, so general categories, and that would fit under one of them is your calendar and your bank account. Where you are spending your resources is a reflection of what you value. But here's the problem yeah, we pay attention to where our money is going. Hopefully, right, right, if we make a purchase that we're like, oh shoot, I probably shouldn shouldn't have bought that, we can return it and hopefully get all or most of it back, right, right, friday or black friday that we just came through and like all the deals that were, you know, in our face for like a month. But when it comes to our time, once it's spent it is spent.

Lissa Figgins:

And I love the fact that you brought up the phone, because I always say this is your, your reality check. If you ever start saying I don't have time, you open this thing up, you go to your screen time and you look at that number and that number is staring you in the face because that is time that you have given away to this thing. Now, yes, a fraction of that may have been for good purposes. This morning I was messaging with two of my kids, who are again not at home, and I was taking care of some things to get ready for this and whatever. Right. The average person listen to this spends four hours and 35 minutes a day on their phone. That's one sprint. Okay, I was a math teacher so I got really curious what is that? Over a year I know you're a teacher too. You have a teacher background, right? Yeah, what adds up to ready for this 70 days a year, like not 24 hour periods, and that's average, which means some people are a double that.

Megan Devito:

Oh I think easily because I think four hours is accidentally picking up your phone and being like oh, I wonder what happened here. Here, who do I need to check in with when you get stuck in Instagram reels or on Tik TOK or something and you're like well, what happened?

Lissa Figgins:

Or even online shopping, or whatever, it is right. And it's not that there's no value. I was just joking with my daughter, who was messaging this morning, because on Black Friday we went shopping to the mall. Now, we did not intentionally go on Black Friday, it just happened to be that with the time she was home, it was literally the only day we could go.

Lissa Figgins:

So it took a lot of extra time to be there and we really came out with very little Saturday. That next day we sat on the couch. We online shopped for everything else she needed, found it all. I just messaged her. I'm like, so like, we tried on like 20, 30 pairs of jeans, like at the mall, and guess what?

Lissa Figgins:

The ones she ordered online fit you know the short I'm like this was a much more productive, and you know, like this was a much more productive, and you know, like not, that we didn't love the time with her in the mall, but yeah. So all that to say, yeah, you do have time, right, look at where you're spending it. Because we all say this time is precious, with this like smile on our face. But are we really treating it like that? Or are we willingly or unknowingly giving it away to all these lesser things? Or are we willingly or unknowingly giving it away to all these lesser things? And there are big companies that have giant budgets to grab your time and attention. They can keep you on their page If they can keep you clicking on their reel, if they can get you to, you know, go to the next, follow the next rabbit trail thing, they're eventually going to get you to give them your money. But time and attention is the number one commodity that they are all after, and so we have to be discerning. You know, we have to really be intentional, and everything I do around redeem her time actually comes from what the Bible teaches about time. And this is really when the light bulbs turned on for me, and then I'd love to share my story.

Lissa Figgins:

The verse in Ephesians five says look carefully how you live. There is attention. I have to be on my you know I have to be watching, because if I don't fill my time with something intentionally, someone or something else will fill it for me. Yeah, there's never been a minute of your life that didn't go to something. Right, that's true, yeah, and then we wonder why we end up where we don't want to be, right? Okay, so look carefully how you live, not as unwise, but as wise. So that tells me I have two choices wise or unwise. Waste, spend, invest. There's a difference. When you invest, you get something back. You can spend money on a cute pair of shoes, but they're probably going to sit in your closet, except for the, you know, a couple of times a year. You buy them, right, you can invest in like an investment, and you're going to get something in return.

Lissa Figgins:

Right, you're going to increase what you put in Same thing with our time. So look carefully how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, redeeming the time, which literally means make the best use of the opportunities because and I love this version these are difficult days. Amen to the fact that we live in a time where, yeah, life is hard and it always feels like our time is not enough and our doing is not enough and we're not enough. It's a slippery slope that goes from one to the next and then we wonder why we're stressed out, worn out, burned out and always feeling like there's never enough. There's never enough time, there's never enough money, there's never enough of me.

Megan Devito:

You know, fill in the blank, yeah, I think it's really the thing that is rolling around in my brain from what you said is I think that you know, we look at time and I think about teenagers when they say, well, I stayed up late, but I'm going to catch up on sleep, and I'm like that's impossible. You don't catch up on sleep Like you'll. Your body will catch up I mean you will but you don't actually catch up time because you're right, like we can get our money back. Right, we can go out, we can make more money, we can, you know, pick up, pick up another job, return things to the store. We can get our money back, but once time's gone, that's it.

Megan Devito:

So to all of my friends who are listening to this, who tend to be a little anxious, a little bit stressed out, if that pinged you a little bit, just take that as one of those notifications where anxiety is just telling you to, hey, pay attention. If you notice that feeling in your body right now where you're like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, what am I doing? Like, how did I spend my time? That's okay, that's okay. That's really important place to be able to stop and say this was a check that I needed.

Lissa Figgins:

Your body responded Perfect, let's go into that a little bit more, yeah, so first I want to say this this is the work that most people don't and won't do, and that is to notice, to do exactly what you just pointed out. Like you feel this feeling, notice it, pay attention to it and then make it right away. Okay, so here's my story. Right Right, it was poster child for time management. I had all the planners. I've had a planner since. I was like in grade school, like yeah, that's not a problem.

Megan Devito:

I give them to you at school now, like here's this lovely planner, and the kids are like what am I supposed to do with this? Right, yeah, I put my phone.

Lissa Figgins:

You know somebody, just tell me what to do. There's a whole thing about like the difference between writing it in your own handwriting and being able to see it on paper versus scrolling on your phone For those of you who are like I have, but you also need a planner, anyway.

Lissa Figgins:

So I was a poster child for time management and organization and doing. I'm a one on the Enneagram, which is very much like I want to perfect things and do it right and do it well, and it's always a better way to do it, and you know. So I just became this doer and I took that right into my teaching career. I took that right into motherhood. My husband then was in the military. He would deploy for up to a year at a time. So I was solo parent, solo homeschooling mom, solo ministry leader, solo business owner, solo like every running a house, right. And yeah, there was never enough. There's never enough time, there's never enough of me. You know, like I was always, I was always stressed, but I didn't. I just, you know, in true Lissa fashion, just this is what you do. You just push through and you make it work, right.

Lissa Figgins:

So one of the signs that came up was the guilt, like of like I feel like I'm not being the wife I should be, or the mom I should be, or the ministry leader, the business owner, and it was just kind of like I don't have time to do this better. I'm like doing the best I can push it away, right, but then what started happening to my body started telling me stuff. So it started, like you said, that pit in my stomach but like always feeling that angst, the tightness in my shoulders and my neck, like it. It was like hard 24 seven. I was always tense because I was carrying so much here and then I started feeling a ball on my throat, yep, and here's when it got interesting, because at first I ignored it. Who has time to deal with this? Then I thought maybe I just need to slow down my eating and drink more water.

Megan Devito:

That would be a quick easy. Well, there you go, right, guess what? Yeah.

Lissa Figgins:

Didn't work and I again promptly just dismissed it because I didn't have time to figure out what was going on, until I realized it had been over a year and I woke up one day going you know, this has been happening for a really long time. I wonder if there's something growing in there that is going to cost me a lot of time and anxiety and money and whatever. So I promised my besties I would go get it checked out. I went to see a specialist. He tried some medication, he tried lifestyle changes and then he finally was like like, okay, I don't know why nothing is working, let's take a look. And so he's like I'm gonna, you know, do a scope and we're gonna see what's going on.

Lissa Figgins:

So I vividly remember walking into his office for that follow-up appointment after they put a camera down my throat. He sits me down. He's like, really, I don't know this little short picture like your typical doctor, like doesn't have a lot of brain knowledge but not a lot of like bedside manner, of like with people, but he thought it was funny, okay. So he sits me down and he's like hey, lissa, there is not a ball on your throat. I have put a camera down there. I've looked. It's not there, but you think it's there and you feel it because you have hystericus globus. And then he just sat there with a smirk on his face.

Megan Devito:

Of, and then he just sat there with a smirk on his face.

Lissa Figgins:

Of course you do have hysterical glordis, or whatever it was globus, and he's like okay, globus, globe, like a ball, you have this feeling of a ball and you're gonna love this part. He goes hystericus and he starts going like this right, swirling his finger, like you're crazy. And he, he thought this would make me feel better. He goes that's where they get the word hysterectomy from, cause they thought women were going crazy in midlife. He's like it's all, you have anxiety. And there, here's where, like I want to be really sensitive in how I talk to your audience, because I know this is a, this is something that you address. So in that moment I just want you guys to hear my story. Okay.

Lissa Figgins:

And that moment he said I'm happy to prescribe you a pill. I am not against medication for mental health things. My husband has medication he takes for mental health. So I don't want anyone to hear this in any way, shape or form, that there is any shame or judgment. But I knew for me that a pill was not going to fix the real problem, because I might feel better, I might mask my anxiety around my time and all of my doing, but it wasn't literally going to change anything and my body was still going to be, like you know, on overdrive all the time, and so I wish I could say that everything changed like in an instant. It didn't, but it started changing in that moment and I started realizing I can't keep living life like this or I'm not going to be any good to anybody.

Lissa Figgins:

And so it was this progression and, um, fairly shortly afterwards, my dad sent me a book on Amazon, uh, called the ruthless elimination of hurry, and he put this little note in that said I hope I didn't just offend you, and like I just it was exactly what I needed to hear and it was exactly what slowed me down to the, to realize that my time issues, my time, anxiety, my busyness, enneagram, right, and it was going to be this constant, never-ending battle if I kept going down that path. And so that's when God got a hold of my heart and started showing me how to slow down, how to let go of those obligations I felt all the time, how to like be able to let go of the expectations I was feeling impressed upon me from other people, how to discern, you know, when interruptions and distractions come. Is this something I'm supposed to give time and attention to or not? Like it's a work, right? And so this is why I love having these conversations, because I think we think the quick fix is the planner or the quick fix is, you know this new time blocking method, or fill in the blank and I teach those things and I have a planner that you put things in.

Lissa Figgins:

But if and until you change the way you approach time, nothing's really going to change about your time. Definition of insanity Keep doing the same thing, expecting different results. Not going to happen. You're still going to be anxious and worried and stressed. Yeah, so, um, yeah, so, anyway, that's my story, right, and then it's led me to coming up with these three shifts around our time that, before you even get into a calendar, make all the difference.

Megan Devito:

But I want to give you a space if there's anything from the story part that you want to respond to openly about the fact that I took medication for 20 years and I felt a little better, but I was still chronically anxious and had no idea what to do with it. So I think the fact that, like, yes, always we talk about I mean, I talk about this very openly, my story is out there, I've told it a million times. But how, when push comes to shove, yeah, it's going to numb it out a little bit for you and you might feel a lot better. But unless you're doing that inner work and really getting to what it is that you're thinking, that is causing you to keep going. And certainly I mean even if we go back to the idea of being hysterical and having hysterectomy, which I did not know, but that kind of makes me angry, just as a woman. But I'm like, wait a minute.

Megan Devito:

But it is real that when you are in that phase of life, you know if you are in perimenopause or menopause and you notice that you have feelings of anxiousness in your body.

Megan Devito:

That's a chemical reaction and it does feel real. And when you feel that feeling, you're not thinking clearly. So having the tools to be able to say this is actually what I'm feeling right now and to be able to say okay, because what do I think is happening? What do I think I need to fix? Because, whether it starts with the way your body feels that causes your brain to go into an overthinking mode where it's trying to solve problems by creating problems, or whether it starts with a situation that you have thoughts about that makes you feel anxious, either way you get stuck in that place where I'm thinking more and then I'm feeling more anxious, and then I'm thinking more and then I'm feeling more anxious, until we've just created a giant whirlpool full of problems. So you have solutions for this, because it does come back to a heart problem and what it is that you're thinking about.

Lissa Figgins:

Yeah, which is the first shift, is what you're believing around your time. We've kind of already touched on this. Yeah right, every time you have some version of there's not enough time, I don't have time, I'll have time when if only I had time, like, fill in the blank, I want you to keep that thought captive because, like you just said, that thought leads to certain feelings, leads to certain actions, which leads to certain results, right? So it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? And the thoughts we think are on repeat. I mean, they say like 95% of our thoughts. We're thinking over and over again. So it like starts getting ingrained and it just becomes our new normal and like it becomes fact versus and they feel very true.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, I mean, our thoughts feel very, especially if you're anxious and you've noticed that you're feeling it feels very necessary and very true and that really, I think is a hard hurdle for so many people who I talk with, Like, but but I think it's, it feels really important.

Lissa Figgins:

Whether I'm talking about example. Say, for example, someone saying like I have, like, a role as a mom, a wife and a career. Okay, now, that is a fact, but keep it neutral, Like that is a neutral fact. You have multiple, three roles that we just listed, right, and chances are you've got 10 more right, so that's probably not it, but what you, the next level, what you're believing about it and what you're thinking on repeat about it, is now what's going to lead right in those other directions. So it can be, but because I have all these roles, I don't have time to do them all. Well, and I am dropping balls all over the place, right, because that's how I'm feeling Versus. Okay, these are things that God has called me to. I know that this is part of the season of life that I'm in, and I can you know like I'm looking at this as a gift rather than a limitation, right? So now start playing those out and see which ones I'm taking the right direction. So, whenever you're thinking I don't have time or some version of it, I want you to grab it, and I want you to hear this sentence very punctually and slowly, because I do this in all caps, with periods. And here it is. You have time. Like I have people tell me they hear me in their head because I end every one of my podcasts with that. It's on the sign behind me Every time you see me on camera, it's in the planner, it's like everywhere. Like we need this reminder. You have time, okay.

Lissa Figgins:

So that's the first one is shifting your belief. The second one is shifting your role, because we are told that we just need to get better at managing our time. We're to be managers of our time. So I was also. I was a math teacher, I was also an English teacher, so that part of my brain goes. Let's define some terms. Manage literally means to exert control over and keep contained. Isn't that how it feels around our time? We are always going to keep it from getting away from us. We're chasing it like this limited resource that if I don't like get under control, someone's going to take it away from me, or it's going to go through my fingers, or I'm going to not have enough and I'm going to lose it.

Lissa Figgins:

Think about the manager at a fast food restaurant. If you watch them line that counter, they are running around trying to keep everybody and everything right in their place, keep everything under control, and how do they feel at the end of their shift? There's a spin. Yeah, it's the same thing you feel at the end of the day when you drop a bet and you're like what did I even do today? Right, I tried to keep everything under control. And how fruitless was that? Because, yeah, you can't. So, first of all, time management, I believe, is a myth. I don't even believe that it's possible. It's an illusion. Just when you think, you get all your ducks in a row, guess what?

Megan Devito:

someone happens and they're not so right. I'm trying to chase, you can only manage what's in your control everything else. You can't manage that. You have to like block out time for catastrophes that are flying in, like your radiator breaks, you get a flat tire.

Lissa Figgins:

You can't manage that yeah, yeah, or just I'm so easily distracted by all the shiny objects that are coming in from my device or the people around me or whatever you know very much. It's like a game of whack-a-mole all day long that you're never going to win, but you're just trying to do it, you know Right. So I don't believe that we're called to manage our time, Um.

Megan Devito:

I love that, okay so let's go.

Lissa Figgins:

That's so important. Let go of that expectation. You know. Permission to stop managing your time, yeah, and which I know is like what? Okay. But here's the alternative. Here's what we're going to do instead we're going to steward our time. A steward is someone who takes what's been entrusted to them and invests it in order to increase the um, increase the results, right. So we went on a trip. A couple of months ago. My husband rode across the Atlantic ocean. I know it sounds really crazy. It took him 42 days. They row boat rowed across the Atlantic Ocean. I know it's a whole thing. They actually do it for mental health and suicide prevention for veterans. So that's amazing.

Lissa Figgins:

I love it. That's a whole other story. I can tell you that story another day. Anyway, long story short, we get down there the day ahead of them and we are on this little van shuttle from the airport or whatever, like an hour drive or whatever. We start going up this hill. I mean talk about like giant harbors next to us, like Jeff Bezos boat was in that harbor the day before, like that's the size boats that would be right now. Yeah, crazy.

Lissa Figgins:

And so we get up to the top of this Hill and there's this like beautiful, like blue green gate, and this gate opens and like we just see this like sprawling property that we are going to get to use for the next week, like it literally was up on a point. It used to be a military like lookout because of the location that you could see not only the harbor on that was on that side I told you about, but then the whole open ocean out in front, like stunning. Um, there's this like beautiful guest house, big house, there's a. There's another guest house, there's a pool, there's gardens, there's, like this view, this huge wraparound porch like we're like yes.

Lissa Figgins:

And then there's these amazing little people who like live in this little house right off to the side on the property and they come over and they're welcoming us and join us around and taking it like, and as I watched them like they kept coming in, hey, can we do your dishes for you, can we do any laundry for you, like whatever. And it suddenly hit me they don't own this place. The owner of this, of this property, actually lives back in the US and only comes a couple times a year. Right, they are there as stewards, as caretakers of this guy's property, and he had entrusted this into their hands and so they are taking care of it with a sense of this doesn't belong to me. This isn't all about me. I get to enjoy this. Hello, what have you to wake up to every day?

Megan Devito:

Sign me up Like I'm on your call.

Lissa Figgins:

I know, right, if they ever vacate that thing, I'll be like I'll live in the little house, right? I don't care. Their role was to steward this asset that belonged to someone else, wow, well, the way that I teach about time is that our time didn't just randomly happen. I believe it is a divine gift. I believe, like God is giving us this gift of time and it is not all about us and we can't do anything about it. I can't make more time, like you said, with money, right. Like I can't be like I'm going to make some more. Or how about this? I'm not going to use all my time today, so that way I can save it up so I can have it for a rainy day. Or like I promise not to use all 24 hours tomorrow. Can I like have some of that today? You know, like nope, 24 hours each day, right, but there's a bigger purpose behind it, and you know. And so when we see ourselves as a steward, it's not taking ownership, in that I'm trying to control it. There's a responsibility, and this has been entrusted to me, to build something bigger than me, like, so I teach time stewardship. That's why I call myself an untimed management strategist, because I don't think that managing time is fixing the problem, or even what we're created to do, right, so we, I believe, should be stewards of it. Right, like if someone were to like I don't know, like, entrust some money into your hands, you could go hide it in your mattress and hope that none of your kids find it. Or you could go invest it and then be like, hey look, I like grew back your investment, like here's an extra 30%, and they're going to be like well done, let me give you some more and you can store it some more. Like. It's actually a parable that Jesus told called the parable of the servants, right, and this servant went and hid it. He was afraid it was going to get away. He kept it under control, buried it in the ground. The other two, they invested it, they brought back a double ROI and the master said well done, good and faithful servant. You've been faithful with little, let me entrust you with more. So, anyway, I believe our role should not be as managers of our time, it should be stewards of our time, and that's a whole different shift. There is a weight of responsibility in that, like wow, but it's different than I'm just trying to keep everything under control.

Lissa Figgins:

The third shift is the question you ask around your time, because the most often asked question around time is what time is it? You know, and when you look at your watch or your phone or your computer or your wall clock and you go, what time is it? You're like all of a sudden, like in like hurry, scurry mode oh, my goodness, what about the time I'm behind? I should have gotten this done. That took too long, right? So instead of asking the question what time is it, I'm going to give you a different question. That is almost it's almost so subtle the difference. It's crazy how big of a difference it makes, right? So for what? What time is it to? What is it time for? Okay, almost the exact same words, but my shoulders just went down when I said that, because it presupposes two things Number one, that you do have time and number two, that there is a purpose for the time in front of you.

Lissa Figgins:

And here is where we can eliminate what I think we, especially as women, think is our superpower, and that is multitasking. Multitasking is not your superpower, it is your kryptonite. It weakens you because your focus is now divided. It makes things take up to 50% longer and you make 40% more mistakes. So if you think you're saving time by multitasking, pay attention to how much it's really getting of you and what it's really taking to you know, do it well or do it right or redo it or whatever. So, yeah, those are the three shifts that I teach, and that's even before you get into a calendar. Right Now you're opening up a calendar and I have a whole system of like, how do you take these bigger picture things and get it down into? And what am I doing? Today?

Lissa Figgins:

I teach a time blocking method that answers the question what is it time for? With spacious blocks, not like little tiny blocks on your calendar that make you feel like rush hour on the 405, you know, and it's just this whole different way, and I put pauses in as well to like think about your time. What was I treasuring my time this week? What kind of results did I experience? What was I? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to trust you know, into somebody else's hands? What can I delegate? I mean all kinds of things. Right? Stop thinking about your time, because if you don't, you're going to just always be anxious and stressed out and feel like you're just never enough.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, and I love it. So the first thing I thought of when you said what is it time for? I thought you just made it. It just shifted from being something you have to do to something you get to decide. And that's really that decision and knowing that like, oh wait, maybe it's time for me to.

Megan Devito:

I was just trying to sit in the sun for 10 minutes. I was freezing and I was trying to sit in the sun. It was shining in my bedroom window. So when I laid on my floor I just need to lay here for 10 minutes and warm up and be in the sun it felt so good. It's been really cloudy in Indiana lately and I laid there for 30 seconds before my dogs came and like sat on my head and attacked me.

Megan Devito:

But I was like I just need this time, which apparently I didn't but just being able to decide like I can take that 10 minutes to sit, I just need to sit here for 10 minutes and clear my head and get myself in a place. I was getting ready to come on and talk with you and it did. It ended up just being that okay, pause, and that's such an important thing, that pause is so important, and whether we're talking about how you handle the anxiety in your body or in your mind or wherever it is, but knowing that that pause gives you a place where you can say what's next, as opposed to oh no, oh no, now what?

Lissa Figgins:

so here's what I just heard you do, which I love because I think this is going to resonate with your audience, because I were talking before we started. A lot of you who are listening are juggling multiple roles. You've got all these life roles, but then you also have some kind of a career or business or something else like over here that you're responsible for and wanting to be successful at, which well should be, and that is the idea of work-life balance. Yeah, I hate the term because I think it just makes you go like oh AI, isn't it Like SEO, heavy and AI?

Megan Devito:

I hate it every time I say it, yeah.

Lissa Figgins:

But I think it's because, again, english sheets are coming out. We have we're looking at the wrong definition of balance. I think we're looking at balance as a noun, that even Steven, like those old fashioned scales, if I put two things over here, I put two things over here, and then I do believe it balanced right. So if I give two hours to work, I have to give two hours to you know family. Or if I give dah dah dah, then I have to do dah dah dah, right, like, and it's always this, even Steven, which we know is not realistic, I teach that I believe every woman on the planet has eight areas in her life her faith, her family, her friendships, her business service, work that she does, her resources, how she's stewarding her time, money, things like that. Her wellness, her passions and her dwelling. Let's be honest, no life wheel includes your home and we give a lot of time and attention to the space around us and the people in it, right?

Megan Devito:

Yeah, Cooking is the only thing on there. I'm like cooking, like yes, and what about laundry?

Lissa Figgins:

Right, yeah, exactly so. Anyway, if you were to take 24 hours divided by eight, that would be three hours. Would your life be balanced if you gave three hours to your wellness, which includes your sleep and eating? You gave three hours to your work, you gave three hours to working on your home, three hours to being with friends every day? Like that actually would not be a very balanced life.

Lissa Figgins:

So balance is not a noun, Balance is a verb, and I want to use an illustration that I think really kind of nails this, and that is look at a frame of ballerina right, like my daughter took ballet. I remember sitting through the nutcracker with my sons who were like, do we really have to do this again? And you know, they weren't always so great at the younger ages, but you saw those girls up there that like they had been putting some time into their feet and you watch them and if you look at them from the waist up, it looks like they have achieved that noun, that perfect spot, that they are balanced. But if you look at her feet, you will notice that she is not standing still. She is constantly moving and making adjustments because she's paying attention to her body such that she doesn't get so out of balance that she goes too far one way or the other or end up on the stage which would be really embarrassing, but it happens, okay.

Lissa Figgins:

So this is the kind of balance we should be after when we're talking work-life balance. It's not even Steven, it's paying attention to what needs your attention now and again. This should not like. This doesn't mean like everything, all my resources and attention go over here and then all my resources and attention go here, because again you're now this like it's going to cost you more time, money, stress, anxiety, but it's paying attention to what does my family need right now to keep things balanced and upright and growing? What does my body need right now? What does my work need right now? No-transcript, and so, yeah, taking 10 minutes to lay in front of the window, because that's what you needed was amazing.

Lissa Figgins:

Right, because that's exactly what you needed, and even though it didn't last for full 10 minutes, right, like it's still like.

Megan Devito:

Okay, I can take this breath and that 10 minutes. You know, just being able to take those little teeny hunks of time, I think. Sometimes we think I just need a day and I'm like you might not. I mean, if you can swing a day, great. But for a lot of us, I mean when you are doing all of those things and really trying to make your life happen the way it is. You know, when you are doing those things, being able to take five minutes here and five minutes there makes it so much easier. For when that thing does swoop in from the side, you know when you do get to get ready to leave for work and your car doesn't start and you're trying to figure out now what. But if you go back to that idea of what is it time for? It's time to fix your car, yeah, okay.

Lissa Figgins:

Instead of oh gosh, it's, it's seven, 50. I have to be at work at eight. I'm never going to make it, yeah. So, yes, we want to have margin in and I love that Like yes, you can take the five minutes, you can take the 10 minutes. But what if? What if you had a plan for your week such that all these little things that matter have time and space? And so it wasn't always the now I have to take five minutes because I'm drowning, it's. I've already got five minutes built in for this.

Lissa Figgins:

I've already got, I do it now we're built in for this, and here I want to show you an illustration because I've got this. Yes, I may do this. Okay, now I'm not going to like fully, fully do this. So this is skittles and oranges. Okay, notice, it's exactly to the lid here like Like, see that capacity, it's not over but it's not under, okay, so I do this illustration and this is like okay, this is how we live.

Lissa Figgins:

So Skittles are all the random things in life, all the distractions, all the. I should do this whatever. Okay, right, so if I were to pour all this out and put the skills in first, it would fill to about two thirds, and that is how most of us live our life. The Skittles fill our days and weeks, and then the oranges, which we know have way more nutrition. Those are the things that matter. So when we start trying to put the oranges in, guess what? There's not room for them. Literally, you can maybe I have eight oranges in here for the eight areas of our life. We can fit maybe like three or four before that starts going over the top. Okay, and we're like there's just not time for it all. Not true, because what I do is I pour this back out and then I put the oranges in first. Yeah, every single one of those oranges goes in first, right. And then I take the same amount of Skittles and pour them in and it just kind of fills in around and it perfectly fits.

Lissa Figgins:

And I say this very simple thing order determines capacity. So if you are stressed out right now that you're not ever having time for fill in the blank, I want to, I want you to really stop and think about that's. If that's an orange, am I putting that in first to my week which doesn't mean like everything happens on the same day or everything happens. I mean, but like, when I plan out my week, my oranges go in first and then it can kind of fill in around that Right.

Lissa Figgins:

But like, or am I just letting Skittles fill in and hoping I'm going to find time by the end of the week sometime that maybe I can, like get a bite out of this orange? Maybe some weeks you do, but probably most you don't. And no wonder you feel anxious around your time and that you're not getting stuff done or dropping balls because you're letting the Skittles come in first. So order determines capacity. You have to identify what matters right. You have to then put those things in first. And then, yes, there are Skittles in life. It is fun to binge sometimes on Netflix or TikTok or whatever your thing is. That's okay, as long as it's in the right order. Right, because you've said this matters first, so yeah, that is such a good thing.

Megan Devito:

I love that and I do think it's so you know and we know what's important and I think that it is when we just get we get so distracted by everything else and even the things that we don't realize. And I love that you did go back to your phone, because so often it is the thing where I'm like you guys but the cell phone, like I mean especially talking about anxiety and talking about stress and things and how we use it. It's such cheap.

Megan Devito:

It's such cheap dopamine, right Like it's great Right, like I mean it's really hard to be anxious when you're laughing at puppies and kittens and hilarious things all day, but one it is. It is sucking away all of our time and it's keeping us feeling more anxious because we're not dealing with the things that are causing it, like the big orange, like the oranges, like the things that I just don't want to feel, this really uncomfortable feeling in my body. I don't want to deal with this emotion or this situation. So we do find ways to get rid of it and it feels it can feel necessary.

Lissa Figgins:

Yeah, yeah, and here's where it's not going to look the same for everyone, like, know that the season of fill in the blank your career, the season of motherhood, the season of marriage, the season of friendship, the season of being a daughter with aging parents, you know like it's going to be different for everyone and it's not going to stay the same, and that's why this work is so important and why I teach people, like every season. So, whether it's because it's what the calendar says or just a season of transition in your life, right, it should be coming back to these eight areas. What needs attention? Where am I Right, like, and I'm going to give you your. I put together a little gift for your audience, so I want to share that.

Lissa Figgins:

Thank you, yeah, like, where am I in these areas? What needs my time and attention? And then, how am I going to do that? What are the priorities and how am I going to put those oranges in first, and it's going to look different than the person next door and it might look different than it did, you know, two weeks ago, because you know you're in a different season. So that's why this is the work that I think you know until kingdom come, we have to keep doing, doing, because, again, time is going to be spent either way and I would much rather be on the living by design train than living by default train and not liking where I ended up.

Megan Devito:

Absolutely, and I love this because it really offers the opportunity to be able to slow down, and this has been. I've talked about this so much on LinkedIn, which is where I've been spending most of my networking time lately. I'm just talking about November. My whole goal for November was to slow down. I have been 100 miles an hour since I was probably born and really being intentional, and I'm just going to let everybody know that, as much as you want it, it's hard and slowing down can make you feel anxious, it can make you feel frazzled. It can make you feel frazzled. It can make you feel like you're not doing things, that you're failing, that you're quitting. None of those things are true and I've gone through all of that in the last four weeks five weeks now of really being intentional, but it's starting to feel normal and it's starting to be like, oh, that's not actually necessary and I'm getting more done and with less stress.

Megan Devito:

So if you are and if you do notice, if you noticed your body felt anxious and tense when you heard deciding about your time and not doing all the things, that's okay, that's normal, it's not. It's not. It's normal for your body to feel that way and it's also normal to think that it's very counterintuitive is what I'm trying, and it's also normal to think that it's very counterintuitive is what I'm trying to say here. So, if you notice, you feel anxious about it. Yeah, it's going to feel weird for a little bit. But weird is good, because what you're currently feeling when you're rushing, when you're doing everything at once, that's not comfortable either. You're just used to it. I'm just going to flip the switch to like okay, we're going to get. We're going to flip the switch to like okay, we're going to get, we're going to get uncomfortable for a minute. It's okay to feel uncomfortable. That's where growth happens. That's really where the growth happens.

Lissa Figgins:

But you have to be willing to sit in that, I think it's. I think God designed us to have these emotions, to have these physical reactions, to get our attention to be like stop the phone. You know, like let's hold the phone, let's stop and look at what. Where's this coming from, what is this telling me and what am I going to choose to do in response to this? You could be like me and ignore it, but it didn't go away and it only got worse.

Megan Devito:

And then you know, like yeah, and then you end up with the phantom lump in your throat or whatever hysterical yeah. So all of those things when they come back to that really it does come back to if you are constantly avoiding your emotions, if you are avoiding how you feel, because you're, you have a pattern of behavior. You have to stop. We just have to get to like, okay, what's making you go this direction so often? But I love the idea. I love that you did Skittles and Oranges and I think that's such a fun analogy for it and to do that. So tell us more about where we can find you and who you work with, things like that.

Lissa Figgins:

Yeah, well, I was just going to say, like you can be listening to this and like, okay, that sounds great, megan, melissa, like I would love to do that. But like give me some rails to run on. And that's where I like really love to come in and say, let me show you how I'm going to help you think differently and help you turn time management on its head or throw it out the door, out the window. We're going to like approach our time differently, you know, and believing we have time and the fact that our role is a steward and asking the question what is it time for? But then you need some rails to run on, right? So a couple of different ways that we can do that.

Lissa Figgins:

Number one I too have a podcast. It's called Redeem Her Time. So if you like listening to Megan, put this in your library and you can take me with, you know, when you're driving or washing the, you know dishes or whatever, because we're going to think differently about your time right, and how it relates in life and business and all these different areas that we talked about today. So that could be a great place to go. I also have the Redeemer Time Planner. That is a way to get make time tangible Because, like I was saying, with your phone, when you are like I got Google and we're just scrolling through that Google calendar, you cannot feel how your time is flowing. You can't really sense like where I'm needing some more space and margin and where things are stacking up, it's just one long to do after the next. There is actually science that when you are writing things with your own hand, it connects your hand to your head, to your heart.

Megan Devito:

And this is a teacher trick.

Lissa Figgins:

You guys like we're not making this stuff up.

Megan Devito:

You take notes, you use colorful pens, you draw pictures and you write it with your hands Right.

Lissa Figgins:

There is a huge difference. And I watched my daughter, who is like grown up in a much more digital age, and I watched her in college and everything is on her laptop and yeah, there's a difference. Right, there is a difference. And so in the planner, the whole first section is shifting how you think about your time and how you approach it. And then we get into me teaching you how do you plan out your season, how do you plan out your months, how do you plan out your weeks and then how do you do the pauses to think about your time. So the planner actually comes with a free digital course that's worth like $997. So it's like the deal of the century, cause I'm like I need to get this in people's hands, but I also needed to like, be like, and this is how it's different than the planner. You pick up a target, which I have plenty of those.

Lissa Figgins:

I've been a planner girl for my whole life. I told someone the other day this is the planner I always wish I had, because, number one, it's got all the physical features that I wish I would have had and the quality. But then it's really getting to the heart of the problem behind our time and our busyness and things like that. So if you're interested in learning stuff about that but here's what I have for your audience. It's a little free, little sneak peek of what's in here.

Lissa Figgins:

It's called the balance assessment. It's a wheel that has those eight areas and it walks you through a very simple process of assessing where you are in each area, and I I also included a coaching video because I want you to hear my voice saying no shame, no judgment, no stories. Where you are is just where you are. It's the consequence of how you've approached time in that area up till now, which is actually really good news, because that means if you want this area to grow or be more balanced, it will be the result of how you choose to invest time in that area moving forward. So we're just going to pay attention to what needs your time and attention and then from there right like, I hope that you lean into the planner and some of the other resources to help you start living that out.

Lissa Figgins:

So if you want that assessed balance assessment, go to redeemhertime. com/ assessment or it is at the very top of just redeem her time. Click on the balance assessment little button at the top and, yeah, push pause on busy, push pause on stress and anxiety and overwhelm, no matter what time of year it is. Think about your time, where it's going, what results it's producing, and then go okay, and is this really what I want? And if not, then here are some tools to help you move in that direction. Amazing.

Megan Devito:

I will have all of those links in the show notes too, so that everybody can just click and grab. That is so generous, Thank you.

Lissa Figgins:

You're welcome. What's amazing for me is like we got to get some homework. You know you can, but until you actually see in front of you like oh wow, this is what my life looks like right now, I'm a little out of balance. You know, it's really hard to take that next step and know what to do.

Megan Devito:

So, yeah, but especially when we're thinking about this I mean this season where we want to be able to do the fun things right and if you're always scrambling, how are you going to feel after the holidays? I think it's always good to think of, like, how do you want to feel?

Lissa Figgins:

And one of the areas is passions, which is fun, and actually it's right, because I find that is often the lowest area that women rate themselves on, because who has time for fun when there are things to do and you have responsibility,

Megan Devito:

Which is exactly why people will say, oh, I don't really know what my passions are. Right, because our kids grow up. That's important, that good stuff. I mean, that's why we're here, isn't it Like to? If you don't know your passions, you don't know who you're supposed to help or what you're supposed to do.

Lissa Figgins:

xactly, or just enjoy life Right and like try hobbies and grow yourself and yeah.

Megan Devito:

Like rowing across the ocean. What the heck. I got to hear more about that. That's amazing, amazing. Yeah, thank you so much for joining me today. This has been so good. This is great stuff, and I feel like this is just something that, if you are someone who is just like everything is so much all the time, you guys, this is the episode you needed and look, it fell right in your lap.

Lissa Figgins:

Right, you're listening to this right at the beginning of a new year, but here's what I did. Here's the other thing this planner is intentionally undated. So if you happen to cross, come across this episode and it's June, you have not. You have not missed anything, you are not behind. You're not going to like be like, oh shoot, half the planner's already gone, why bother, I'll just keep doing my same old thing and wait until next year, like no, today is the day to start redeeming your time. So I just want to encourage you that it doesn't have to be a beginning of the year thing. This is like any time of day. Even if you start this and then, like you get distracted and it goes and sits on a shelf for a while, like pick it back up, it doesn't matter what the calendar says, I'm starting back on it and you know so. I just I want people to live, not buy a calendar, right?

Megan Devito:

So that's so good, because they do. I hate it when you get a calendar and you're like, but I want it to start on the day it starts and then I don't you know. So that is so good, thank you again. So so much. Thank you, Megan. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the More Than Anxiety podcast. Before you go, be sure to subscribe and leave a review so others can easily find this resource as well. And, of course, if you're ready to feel calm, to stop overthinking and have a lot more fun, you can go to the show notes, click the link and talk to me about coaching. I'll talk to you soon.