More Than Anxiety

Ep 111 - Small Habit Changes For Mental Wellbeing with Jennifer Geneve

• Megan Devito • Episode 111

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In this episode of the More Than Anxiety podcast, you'll meet Jennifer Geneve, director of operations at Lavigne Natural Skin Care who shares the strategies she impletmented in her life that helped her feel more confident, grounded, and empowered.

From managing the operations of her mom's family-founded Canadian vegan beauty brand and managing the books for her husband's business Jennifer's story is one of courage and transformation. She talks openly about confronting her mindset, and negative self-talk, and how she set and achieved goals that changed her life.

Jennifer is dropping her favorite podcasts and books including Mindset Matters and Cal Newport's "Deep Work," while we discuss how small, intentional shifts in habits can lead to personal growth.

Jennifer reveals the secrets behind her success, including:
Entrepreneurial Journey: Learn how Jennifer went from being a supportive partner to the driving force behind her family's skincare brand.

Balancing Work and Life: Discover how Jennifer juggles the demands of running a business, raising a family, and prioritizing her own well-being.

Overcoming Adversity: Hear about Jennifer's personal struggles and how she overcame burnout and negative self-talk.

Mindfulness and Self-Care: Gain insights into Jennifer's effective strategies for calming her mind, reducing stress, and fostering positive habits.

Building a Successful Business: Learn valuable tips for entrepreneurs, including the importance of setting goals, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and continuously learning and growing.

SHOP LAVIGNE NATURALS SKIN CARE - use code MEGANDEVITO for 15% off your order!

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In  Episode 111 of the More Than Anxiety Podcast, I had the opportunity to speak with Jennifer Geneve from LaVigne Natural Skincare.

Jenn is offering a 15% discount for my subscribers and listeners.

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You know you're overwhelmed, burned out, sick to death of work but also trying to do everyting for everyone at home. TAKE THIS QUIZ to find out why you're so overwhelmed and what to do about it.

Megan Devito:

Welcome to the More Than Anxiety Podcast. I'm Megan Devito and I help ambitious women break out of the anxiety cycle that keeps them frustrated and stuck. Get ready for a lighthearted approach that will change what you think, how you feel and what you believe about yourself. This podcast is full of simple steps, a lot of truth talk and inspiration to take action. So you walk away feeling confident, calm and ready to live. Let's get to it.

Megan Devito:

Welcome to episode 111 of the More Than Anxiety podcast. I'm so glad you decided to join me today. I get to introduce you this week to Jennifer Geneve. Jennifer is a married mom of two tween and teenage children. She's also the director of operations at Levigne Naturals Skin Care, which is a vegan, clean beauty brand founded by her mom, Linda. This Canadian brand is celebrating 21 years in business and it has won 11 awards in the past three years. Jennifer and her husband also own a renovations and custom cabinetry business for which she provides business administration support while he runs those day-to-day operations.

Megan Devito:

So a while back, from the outside everything looked really great in her life, but on the inside she was feeling ruined, quietly, without anyone knowing. So finding her way through it was a grind. It took a lot longer than she ever imagined it could, and it was the best thing she ever did for herself, her family and every person in her life. Jenn found that the more she shared the pain of everything, other women understood, and some came around later to ask questions about what she was sharing. She's going to tell her story on this episode today. It's a fantastic one. Enjoy her story and be sure to check out the link at the end of this episode so that you can learn more about Lavigne Natural Skincare and the products that she and her mom have so much fun creating for all of us. Enjoy the episode.

Jennifer Geneve:

So, as I mentioned to you, I work my daily job, where I spend my week as the director of operations at our natural skincare company. It's a vegan and cruelty-free natural brand based out of Vancouver, and my mom started the brand in 2003. So we are 21 years old this year, which is pretty cool.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, the idea of starting a skincare company is amazing and I love it and I always look at that and think how does somebody just do that? How do you just make that happen? Like I'm going to start a skincare company.

Jennifer Geneve:

Well, you can imagine, a lot of different developments have happened over the years, but where it very first started was my parents were actually living in Mexico for a time to do with my dad's work and my mom came across a tree bark ingredient from from the area that was considered by the Mayans as like a skin healer, like a skin miracle, and she asked some of the locals their opinion on it and just kept hearing amazing things about it and kind of fast forward to when they got back to Canada she decided, decided to start one product with that ingredient in it, and I mean there's so many stories in between. But what I can say to you is over these years we've come across so many. I mean that's really her jam is finding ingredients and like that's her creative expression. So that's really her side of things. Um, but you know, found some amazing ingredients from all over the world. So the Mayans considering something like a skin miracle. There's also, like we have canadian willow herb. Um, there's also bakuchiol, which is an amazing plant that's considered to be a plant-based alternative to retinol, which is a very popular buzz.

Jennifer Geneve:

Okay, well, um, rosehip is incredible. Like there are actually so many ancient, amazing ingredients from nature that are in our products, that that have endless benefits to them, and and we combine them with the best of the science ingredients too. So, you know, people are looking for hyaluronic acid and vitamin C, like I said, retinol, but we use bakuchiol as a plant based alternative. So it's a combination of science and nature. But, yeah, it started with my mom doing that based on one thing one ingredient, one product and then it came to kind of three products and conversations kept going okay, you should add this to your line, and at some point, a cleanser and eye cream, and it just kept going. I think we have 24 skincare products now, plus, like their extra sizes. Part of it's a men's line and some beauty tools as well, like things like Gua Sha, and we have some silk, pillowcases and different things.

Megan Devito:

Well, I have to say that Jenn sent me samples and I loved them. They were so good and especially I was telling her the eye cream was amazing. I didn't get those little makeup balls under my eyes, but when it starts to roll off it was incredible and I think this is so much fun. So you went into business with your mom, but I know you also said that your husband has a business with that. You kind of do the books on and the admin, but there was a lot to your story. So tell me a little more. Tell me some more about what you do and about your life.

Jennifer Geneve:

Sure, my husband's actually from Australia. So when I met him actually the same year that Lavigne started I ended up going to Australia to live in Perth with him for the better part of three years and it was during that time that Lavigne started to pick up momentum and my mom was working on things and that was all on her own, with the help of employees and different contractors helping her with certain things. So I returned back to Canada and we came here, got married and this funny conversation ensued about would you like some help in your business? I'm, we're back and I'm going to be looking for work. Do you want help? You don't have to hire me, but you know I'll help you.

Jennifer Geneve:

Very awkward, right, get along Amazing and we had some really honest conversations and I thought I would help for a while, and that was 16 years ago. So it seems to be going well. It seems to be going very well. So my husband landed here, starting life with married life with me and he electrician originally by trade but ended up finding his talent with renovations and then eventually started an additional business being his own manufacturer with cabinets. So he has the cabinet company, which was a spin-off from the renovations company and so kind of involved in three businesses that's a lot.

Jennifer Geneve:

That's a lot to do it's a lot, but I I think that he and I both thrive on being busy, on feeling challenged, but I also couldn't see myself doing just something really linear like a clock in, clock out situation um paperwork processing situation or something I feel like I do like the dynamic um different things that my, the businesses and my life offers.

Megan Devito:

I do like all of it and I think yeah, I think there's a lot of value to staying busy and to having purpose in your work. You're right, there is a balance and so often we talk about that balance between my work life and my home life, and it sounds like yours is very incorporated your life with your mom and having that relationship with your mom as we work together, but he's still your mom and your business with your husband and he's still your husband. So, yes, there's value in work and sometimes we can get a lot of enjoyment and a lot of fulfillment with that and there's a line right. So how do you find that line? What does that look like?

Jennifer Geneve:

Actually, I think that's a pretty great segue. I had mentioned to you that I came into a time that felt really challenging to me and I would say that it was a feeling that built like. It was a feeling of unrest, um, I don't know what kind of label you'd put on it. I've listened to some of your episodes and I was thinking about, was it overwhelm, was it burnout, was it anxiety, I'm not sure which.

Jennifer Geneve:

I don't know if it even needs a label. I do know that I hit a point that, uh, I just felt fairly like a lot of discontent with with. It was really like about me, like about how I was running things, and it took a bit to try to figure out when I really wanted to make some change in my life. It doesn't make sense. If we know that we're unhappy with something and we know that there are solutions, why wouldn't we just do them? But I don't know.

Megan Devito:

This is why I have a job right. But yeah, I think it's so good, though, just to recognize, like is it anxiety, is it burnout, is it stress, is it just discontent? And I love that you said no labels, because I have to admit that I get incredibly frustrated by everybody saying I am this, I am this, I am this, you know, I am anxious, I am neurodivergent, I am autistic, I have ADHD, I am this and this. And I'm like yes, and if you, the more you say it, the more it becomes part of your personality and the idea that do we need the label? Yes, there's some. What am I looking for here? There's some, I guess, some relief in knowing that that's normal, or and like oh, okay, that's what's going on. To need it? I'm not sure. Some people maybe, yes, but for you that wasn't the case.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, same. I'm not sure either, because honestly I don't have a problem with any of those labels. I just feel like at that time I just I only know how I felt and uh, it's a bit of a bummer to describe. Um, so I know that I felt pretty sad, like with myself, um, I felt with negative thinking. I felt stuck, like stuck that I was gonna feel that way, I don't know, forever. I mean, your mind can make up all kinds of things. This is how you feel in the moment, but you project it out too. It could, you can convince yourself it could blow up everything. I have no idea I one of the things I think is really important to note is that at the worst part of it, I felt like I actually had no special skills or any special gifts. I felt like everything that I did was ordinary, and I'm happy to spoiler alert here and tell you I figured it out.

Megan Devito:

This is true. I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, but you do.

Jennifer Geneve:

But somebody out there is feeling like that.

Jennifer Geneve:

If I was feeling like that, somebody is feeling like that, and so that's why I feel like it's important to say it out loud that that was one of the really unfortunate pieces of how I was feeling. It took me awhile to figure out that I really wanted to put the work into changing, also puzzling back to the why wouldn't you just do what you you think you need to do, but it takes time. Um, for me it didn't work like ripping a band-aid off. For me, I felt like it was more like when a train tries to hit the brakes and slides for like a mile.

Megan Devito:

That's a very good analogy yeah.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, I've got some plans to go in the other direction, but we're just still trying to hit the brakes. So you know, the great thing is that I did hit a day where I just decided it's about me now and I'm going to work on me.

Megan Devito:

I love that. I love that you said decision, because so many people will tell me, well, I don't know if I'm ready yet. I don't know. You know, I think I'll know when this happens or this happens. And I'm like, straight up, this is a choice, like it is the decision, and I'm not saying that. I mean it really is as simple as deciding that you're going to do something and then, yeah, you're right, like the idea of a train sliding forever because your brain's been doing the same thing for a long time and practicing thinking thoughts. So to stop thinking those thoughts, you almost have to create a diversion or like a new way of thinking, and that does not happen on a dime for everyone, especially if some of those beliefs about who you are, why you think, what you think about yourself are pretty deep seated. It can take a while to dig those out.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, yeah. And when it got to that day, I literally woke up one day and just started doing things different and I tried to think about the best way to share this with your audience and I made a list of about 10 things that were my strategies that I feel like helped to pull me forward into what somebody in my life called new Jenn.

Megan Devito:

So this is going to be so helpful because I think we're always looking for strategies, because I can tell my story to a million different people a million different times and everything will hit differently for everybody, and what works for me doesn't work for everybody. So tell us what works for you, because someone's going to hear this and be blown away and get exactly what they needed.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, yeah, I totally understand that and that's what I hope for somebody. One of the reasons that I talk about this stuff is because, as I started to share and as people started to see things a little bit differently around me, people asked questions about it. People told me that it inspired them to to look into what they were doing with their life, and so if that helps somebody, then I'm happy to do it, because I would love it for it to help anybody move through something like this maybe a little faster, maybe a little easier. So one of the first things that I did was just try to rewire my habits. Actually, I was listening to one of your recent episodes and you talked about actively habit switching, and that was a big thing for me.

Jennifer Geneve:

I looked at the parts of my day that I was doing, the things that weren't as helpful, and tried to change them to things that were involved with who. I wanted to be A really easy one. I think a lot of people know this, but it's hard to get away from. There might be things that you want to work on, some things you want to catch up on, or a skill you want to improve on, and yet Netflix and the TV in the evening and binge watching shows and watching them for hours. And you know, I wanted to be a reader, a learner, I had skills that I wanted to work on. And yet it's like, hey, suddenly we're watching one, two, three episodes of a show and that's your whole evening and I don't have time. Don't have time to work on the things I want to work on.

Jennifer Geneve:

But you know, it takes effort to do things differently. It really does, and maybe that's the train slide thing. It did. You know it's realizing that. Okay, when are you ready to make the effort? And it can seem overwhelming. But those habits were little things, sometimes one by one. You know I was already exercising. I started exercising every day. Instead of meeting my friends for wine, I started meeting them for walks Instead of putting the kids-.

Megan Devito:

Oh, that is a big one. It's so easy to sit down and drink wine with your friends, but to get your friends to go along with you and take walks, that is an awesome one. I love that they appreciate it too.

Jennifer Geneve:

You know, I think everybody wants to be a little better with movement, exercise, fresh air. We all know it's good for us. But if a friend says, hey, do you want to go sit somewhere and have something to eat and some drinks, Like that sounds great too. It's just, they're just different choices, so that's not wrong. It was just wrong for me at that time. It was better for me to get outside and walk, Um, what else really Like? Yeah, it was so about scheduling, like in the evenings, um, instead of doing that TV thing, I knew I wanted to read and learn about things. I started getting books out and going to bed and reading or sitting around and reading and learning about stuff. And some of it was about this like about wellbeing, about personal development, with a little fiction in there mixed in there for some.

Megan Devito:

That's important. You have to have that fun in there. But I have to ask before we go further what was your best personal development book? This is a huge question. I always want to know more, more questions.

Jennifer Geneve:

Oh man, best one I have. Honestly, I feel like I've read a hundred. Um, I really liked, uh. Carol Dweck, the. Is it uh Mindset? Okay, really liked that. I really liked, um. Is it tiny habits, Atomic Habits?

Megan Devito:

I read atomic yes, yeah, Atomic Habits is fantastic.

Jennifer Geneve:

I loved it um a really unexpected one.

Jennifer Geneve:

I don't hear other people mention a lot is Cal Newport's deep work. It's incredible for learning about focus and it's really important to these times where we're picking up our phone, switching to the laptop, switching to this and like constantly going back and forth with things. And he talks about like attention lag and the more that we think we can do multiple things. You're sort of surface doing everything. Doing everything and actually lack of productivity or accomplishment was one of the things that was making me feel bad. So here I was like doing a little bit of everything and not doing any deep work. That made me feel, hey, I did something really valuable today and so I really recommend that. Cal Newport um deep work was really great.

Megan Devito:

I, I'm going to run with that one, I think that. So I just the podcast I just recorded, the one that'll come out right before yours. I wrote about my experience with being my age and all of a sudden I'm like I totally have ADHD, and maybe I do and maybe I don't, but I'm like where was this the rest of my life? Why can't I focus? And maybe it is that, yes, but maybe it's also popcorn brain from scrolling on my phone. Maybe it's the fact that I'm doing something entirely different that I've never done before. Whatever it is, I can't focus. So that is instantly added to my reading list now. Yeah.

Jennifer Geneve:

Check it out. It was, it was probably a couple of years. I read a couple of years ago. I read it and and I I still think of things from it. So definitely check that out. Um, on the on the habit switching thing, I did make a note on the side here that I wanted to say. Something that I might have done now, like if I was doing this over again, is, if you're not sure how to switch away from a habit, perhaps ask AI, how do I stop this? Or what should I do instead of this, because it is hard to break away from our habits, the things we're so practiced at.

Jennifer Geneve:

It's, it's, uh takes effort to be different. For sure

Megan Devito:

It does, it does, and it's scary, it's been so safe for so long. Your brain's going to try and stop you from doing it because it knows that even if you're miserable, you're not dead. So just keep doing that same thing again.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, it's very easy. It's a very well-worn path on the floor to the things that you're used to doing all the time. It takes effort to turn around, go somewhere else and be different. Another thing I would point out is that we're a product of our environment, and that one really stuck with me. I got it from a podcast Mindset Mentor and he did an episode where he talked about surrounding yourself with the things that you have found to be important to you that might be aligned with your values or aligned with the things that you want to change in your life, and I found that really valuable. If there is something that you want to do better or be better at, it's so simple to go in Apple Podcasts or wherever you get podcasts from and literally keyword search what you're thinking about and you will either find an entire podcast dedicated to it, where every episode is on your topic, or you will find, you know, different interviews on multiple different podcasts where they have touched on that.

Megan Devito:

It's incredible what's out there, as well as like yeah, there is an abundance of really great information out there, absolutely.

Jennifer Geneve:

Um, I think that I literally Googled um, take a break from drinking, drinking alcohol and came across Rachel Hart's podcast, which is a CBT focused podcast. Looking at just taking a break. You know people have the dry January thing. It's focused on that, but she also uses the same concepts in it to break away from anything. It might be retail therapy, it might be eating, it might be could be tv it it's anything that your mind is stuck on. All her episodes are to do with rewiring your thoughts and your brain away from the thing that you're trying to take a break from. And I found it from Googling, so I mean, that's awesome.

Jennifer Geneve:

I love that. Surround yourself with information about what you're looking to be better at or do better at. Another one was exercise. I mean, I think this comes up anytime when you look at, you know, improving our lifestyles. But it is a huge one because it seemed to have stuck with many of my friends that I shared this with that.

Jennifer Geneve:

When I talked to my doctor when I wasn't feeling good, her first recommendation was to exercise every day for 30 minutes to a sweat, and she was very specific. She was like eye roll, like I don't mean just go for a nice walk, I mean 30 minutes a day, definitely doing something where you're sweating. At the time, I was going to a boxing gym, but I wasn't going every day and I obviously must have needed something different, because the boxing gym wasn't fixing life for me either. It was a fantastic workout, but I'm saying, well, it's like your, it's like your podcast title, like more than anxiety. I feel like the whole reason that we're sitting here is because I feel like it's not one thing, it's more than one thing, it so many.

Megan Devito:

And so many times we take that and we're like I feel bad and it's like I feel guilty, I feel shame, I feel tired, I feel this, I feel it's it's so much more in all. We just knotted all together in this big ball and we're like I feel anxious. Yes, you do. Yes.

Jennifer Geneve:

From so many things. Yeah, yeah. So the exercise thing and actually on that, very cool.

Jennifer Geneve:

I a podcast I love listening to is Andrew Huberman's Huberman Lab, and this week he actually yesterday I saw something posted about this week's episode and he was saying that there is impressive data related to cardio exercise for 30 minutes, specifically improving brain function, so helping focus, helping memory and creativity, and so it's no surprise to me that, I'm not sure if I told you about this, but I started doing this daily hike up a mountain here and it started out with doing it a couple of times on the weekend to add to my workout, and then it became kind of every day. And then after two weeks I think, I was listening to Mindset Mentor one day and he was talking about setting goals, writing them down and telling someone. So I made this. I'm walking up the mountain.

Jennifer Geneve:

I made this random idea to have a goal of walking the mountain every day for 50 days and it sounded crazy to me, but decided that I was about 18 days in or something like that and I decided to try for 50. And I told my kids and they got all excited and they wrote it on like a dry erase board that we have here and I did it and it felt amazing and 50 days ended up becoming a hundred, and then 200 days, and then like a year and then two years and it ended up being, I think, a thousand days in a thousand and 10 days. Like I missed a couple.

Megan Devito:

Oh my gosh, you did it every day for 1010 days?

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, so like.

Jennifer Geneve:

So I got to that from just really being able to relate to the doctor saying that exercise to a sweat every day, this Huberman thing saying about how it really helps memory and focus and stress to to have cardio exercise every day. I can tell you from being committed to this daily fitness streak which is kind of nuts, it ended about a year ago now, but when, when I think back to what I did like in the dark, in the snow, on ice, um, I got dive bombed by an owl.

Jennifer Geneve:

I came across bears. Like it was just...

Megan Devito:

T here's bears up there. My, my in-laws live up there. I'm like bears.

Megan Devito:

There's bears, bears!

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah um, but I can a hundred percent attest to what it did for like my ideas and creativity. Um in Cal Newport's book. He talks about in the, the Deep Work book, um doing on walking, meditation and the benefits of when you're working on problem solving something. He would literally review the problem, review the potential solutions and go for a walk or a bike ride or even a drive. It's like your body is busy with something that it can, you know, just kind of do on autopilot and your brain is just like thinking and building something. And so I mean I, I would have amazing work ideas while hiking this mountain and, uh, I mean just just all the physical benefits, some of the the best fitness I've ever felt in my life and ended up doing a half marathon from there and and then another one like it. Just it brought so many benefits.

Megan Devito:

You are a champ. I mean seriously. That's a lot hiking and boxing and climbing mountains and like half marathons and all that I'm like. I always like to say what really got me started feeling better when I was like I had an anxiety disorder for most of my life and what really got me out of that and into being normal for almost 10 years now is taking a walk. Literally taking a walk so I could eat cookies and be, I have four kids and I need some quiet in the evening. So I took a walk so I could eat a cookie when I got home and feel decent about myself and not be so stressed out and anxious and you're like, I need a mountain. I live in Indiana. We don't have mountains Well, at least not where I live. Um its flat, but yeah. That's amazing.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, yeah, it was an amazing experience and eventually I was quite happy to. I've changed my focus to weightlifting and getting into the gym now and doing that kind of stuff, but it was an incredible time and I can't say enough about getting outside daily. A fourth thing that I was thinking is so important but we've already kind of touched on it is reading and learning. I did go in a program for cognitive behavioral therapy. It was like a weekly program, um course, about rewiring your thinking, and I found that really interesting. I think CBT is a pretty, it's not going to be the tool that's going to fix everything, but all of these things together do help and it is helpful to get away from from negative thoughts and and just being able to reframe difficult situations into solutions and and potentially, potentially sometimes deescalating what feels like a really bad thing. Sometimes it's not always. Sometimes it's not as bad as we think.

Megan Devito:

Yes, absolutely.

Jennifer Geneve:

So reading and learning, which actually brings me to another book. David Eagleman had a book that I read called Live Wired, and one of the biggest things I took out of that was that he he talked about how we are. We can always change. We are, I'm paraphrasing, but we're always capable of change, and that we're changing even from who we are. Yesterday or even an hour ago. We are always taking in new information. And in that book is the only place I've ever heard in my life that perhaps neuroplasticity isn't even the right word, because even plastic sets at some point and is done, and that the brain just,

Megan Devito:

Oh wow!

Jennifer Geneve:

it just really stuck with me, and so I always think like this is a moment and it could be different in the next moment, tomorrow, next week. We're always changing. So that just really helps with, you know, not allowing that feeling of feeling stuck, because things could be different at any time as well.

Megan Devito:

That's so encouraging. It's so encouraging for anyone who feels that this is the way I am. This is the way I, this is how I was raised. This is who. There's nothing I can do about it. Yes, there is yes there is.

Megan Devito:

Now there are some things I can't make you grow and like if you were born with, like without an arm. I can't help you grow another arm, but I can help you reframe your life into what that means about your life and about you or anything else. It's so important to know that just because you've done something some way for so long doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. And you do not have to believe your story that this is just the way I am. It's just the way you were. But at any given moment, you can just make a decision and start aiming in a different direction, one tiny step at a time.

Megan Devito:

That is beautiful and so encouraging because so often I mean, my husband says it all the time it's just just how I am and I'm like it's just how you're choosing to be right now. I'm like let's change. And he just looks at me like, oh, just stop. But yeah, it is. It's so important and so encouraging. And he is catching onto it. Like it's. I'm not shoving it down his throat by any means, but he's doing it on his own because he's, I think he's seen me do it. He's seen our kids do it. It's important, but you have to, you have to be intentional, yeah.

Jennifer Geneve:

Well, he's a product, autopilot's a bad place to be. Yeah, yeah, the more he's surrounded by you bringing in those habits. I by you bringing in those habits, I mean they don't. They don't always want to hear our suggestions. I get it, but, like you said, with you around and with the kids doing the things that they're doing, I mean it's, it's a positive influence.

Megan Devito:

So sorry I keep interrupting your list, but you have so many, you got some good gems on here.

Jennifer Geneve:

Don't worry I. Another piece I thought of was reflecting on strengths, and that's to do with what I was saying to you about, during a thankfully not too long of a period of time, I did feel like my skills were pretty ordinary, like everything I knew how to do they all must be things that other people know how to do and so reflecting on my strengths became a bit of a superpower over the last few years, like I've really learned to accept that I don't have to be good at everything. That's okay, and the things that I, that I've realized I'm good at, have also come from feedback from people around me. So people have, you know, listen. When somebody compliments you, don't blow it off. I mean oh no, no, no, don't worry about it, no me, no, no, it's like no.

Jennifer Geneve:

If somebody says, wow, I can't believe how you organized this or that, think about that. They're saying that because it's difficult for them and maybe it's a little bit easier for you and maybe something that is difficult for you is easier for them. We all we do have our own skills and talents and you know, I can't remember where I heard this, but it's the notion of even some of the things that we think might be our negative traits can still have a positive aspect to them. And man, that stuck with me. Like I know that I'm an overthinker. Fair got it, but overthinkers can be really great at being analytical, at risk assessing. There's a, there's environments where me thinking through things through deeply and in detail is really beneficial. Family joke around here is that I talk a lot. Surprise, look how long we've been talking.

Megan Devito:

No problem here but I criticize for myself for that all the time.

Jennifer Geneve:

But make a podcast yeah, you know what it makes connection it does. I'm the person who will meet somebody, start talking to them and realize I can connect them to someone else, that I know or need something, whatever, and I and I also love that like I feel really great when I bring people together. I know I do. And so, yeah, talking, maybe there's times where I could do a little bit less of it, but it definitely has its benefits too, it does.

Megan Devito:

I should keep talking.

Jennifer Geneve:

This is great um, the next one I wanted to bring up goes right back to your first question about having a life with businesses and kids and all the things, the activities and who we are to our extended families and all of it, and it does bring a lot of different things to our life. There's a lot to manage to keep things straight, to keep up relationships and to not let balls drop with our professional life, and so a big piece of that for me was to learn how to calm my mind and to separate things. So I found that say things that I was trying to problem solve at work. I'd be thinking about them at the dinner table or thinking about them into the night, when actually it's not something I'm going to solve that night. Not at all. Like there's literally no point in thinking about it. Them into the night when actually it's not something I'm going to solve that night? Not at all. Like there's literally no point in thinking about it unless I happen to randomly think up a solution, but it's not really the time for it. It's time to like eat dinner with the family and take them to practices, or watch a show together, maybe, or read books, which we love to do.

Jennifer Geneve:

So a very simple thing that I got into doing is, as soon as I thought up something that I needed to know for work to do is I would make a calendar note in my iPhone for the next day, or about half an hour after I get into work to pop up. You know, don't forget to email that person or don't forget to order that thing or whatever it might be. And then I knew it's in my phone. I don't have to try and remember that. Don't have to forget to order that thing or whatever it might be. And then I knew it's in my phone. I don't have to try and remember that. Don't have to remember to call that person tomorrow.

Jennifer Geneve:

The same thing if I'm at my desk at work and I realize I need to book something or do something for the kids, I will set a reminder for like four o'clock or something, when I know I'm not at my desk anymore and I know I can make that phone call or do that thing anymore. And I know I can make that phone call or do that thing. Stop on the way home. So I just tried to calm my mind in a way to to just be working on just what I need to be doing in that moment and otherwise I just felt like it was a thought storm. All the time you're just trying to remember all the things and it just it overloads your mind.

Megan Devito:

Yeah especially if you have a noisy brain where there's always things going on in there.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, yeah, and also keeping calm is just realizing that if you are dealing with a challenge, this is a cbt thing, not not fortune telling, like not thinking it into this. One argument isn't the end of a relationship. One missed thing doesn't mean that you're a failure and you never complete anything or you're never you know, never function properly or whatever it's. You know, one bad day isn't your every day. So really trying to stop this is a moment. This is what I'm dealing with. What's one step to to problem solve this? Just one step If you're not sure how you're going to bring together like who's one person I can call or one thing that I can do right now about this if it's the time to deal with it.

Jennifer Geneve:

So trying to calm the mind, not talking about work when we're having family dinners with my parents and and niece and and my brother, sister. It's not the time to get into work stuff. We'll say that we were guilty of that years ago. It would bleed into dinner conversation and we learned to cut it out because it's not the time for it. It's the time to find out what everybody's up to and hear everyone's stories, because it's important to fit that time in in life because it's important to fit that time in in life.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, and when things are big and important, like a business or anything like that, it is easy to be like, oh, but I just had this one thing I don't want to forget and you had a life before you, before you had your business, and sometimes it's hard to remember that like, oh, wait a second. We could talk about a vacation, we could talk about what's happening in the world, we could talk about climbing a mountain, anything else. And it is important to go back to those things because it's easy to get stuck in habit. Conversations, too. Ask this, ask this, ask this. The same conversations over and over. I'm so guilty of it when my kids get home from school how was your day, what did you like? And their answers are always the same it was fine, nothing happened. So I just keep, keep asking, though someday I'm going to get a different answer.

Jennifer Geneve:

Hey, learning to ask kids open-ended questions is a skill like not, not, not, did you have a good day? Yeah, no, nothing, whatever. It's like no, tell me. I try wherever I can to get them to tell me a story about their day and then it gets a better conversation going. It really does, yeah.

Megan Devito:

I'm like you can't tell me that nothing good happened today. And they're like no, it's the same thing every day. I'm like, oh, for crying out loud, okay.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, and you have four kids, so you're a little more, and they're older than mine, I think.

Megan Devito:

Yeah my oldest is 24, 24, 22, 18, 16. We're all back on even years now, so I can remember how old they are again until next year.

Jennifer Geneve:

But yeah, I'm sure that was busy times and probably fun times when they're younger too. It's so good. Yeah, I wanted to touch on like listening to our minds and our bodies because, um, I think that it's so easy for us to say I'm tired and I don't know why. I don't know why I'm tired or I don't know why I feel like this or that, when actually, if you think about it, we do. We do know why. Like, if you're 100% we do.

Jennifer Geneve:

you're staying up late, um, if you're not building in time to get things done and you stay up really late to get stuff done, which we all do, and you're tired or you're expecting too much of yourself and you're running around doing too many things, it's not. I don't know why it's you do.

Jennifer Geneve:

I don't want to admit why you do, and so I don't want to admit why and I know some of its commitments. But maybe it's okay to let other people help, like I'm sure at some point I'm going to take a wild guess that with four kids it worked to exchange some things with other parents and and have pickups, like it's okay to do that you don't have to do everything yourself.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, so yes, and giving yourself so much grace that when you ask someone else for help, it shows them that it's okay and then they might ask for help too. And just giving like being able, brave enough to take that step really does open the door for someone else to say, oh well, if Megan did it then I think I could probably ask for help with this. Please ask. People love to be. Isn't it great when somebody calls and asks you for help and you just feel so much gratitude that they trust you and they're like I actually was able to help them. That's a big deal, that's a great feeling.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, yeah, 100%. I really believe in that. We actually live in an amazing family neighborhood where people do help each other quite a bit and the kids all have a lot of fun outside together and you know, that's been really a really nice way to raise the kids as well. But, yeah, like listening to ourselves, if you're, if you're also like, if you're feeling, if you're feeling like lonely, like you don't have people around, like it is okay to call some people and make some plans. You don't have to sit and think why do I feel like this? You can literally take action and just try making a plan with somebody and I don't know, I found as soon as I have taken some action, even a little, it does feel a little better and you know it's just not. You're not stuck with how things are going. Not, you're not stuck with how things are going.

Jennifer Geneve:

So, um, another piece. I don't know if you're familiar with Dr Amen, but he talks about the automatic negative thoughts and I already talked about this a little bit, but just catching like catching the regular run of negative thoughts that you can feel stuck with and you don't realize it because they're very normal to you, but trying to find a way to learn to shut them down or reframe or just sometimes. Sometimes you just have to squash them, move away from them. A lot of it is really like I said the will it always feel this way, or I'm a failure at this, or like it's really it's not helpful to rerun that stuff in your head over and over. It's just not. Yeah, and they and thoughts rerun that stuff in your head over and over. It's just not.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, and they and thoughts are habits. Your brain is going to think the same thing over and over again. And I think sometimes we think about habits and we think about picking up our phone, or picking up a cigarette, or doing whatever your habit is. I, you know, I grab a cookie, or I I like scream or whatever it is that we do those habits. Yes, those are physical habits, but they come from a thought. They, you know there's always something else that's going on. So, whatever your, whatever it is that you're thinking is causing you to have the behaviors. And if you just go back to that thought I love that you're talking so much like this is such good stuff that, like you just realize, like, oh, this is what I'm thinking. If I could just sit with that for a minute and realize that I think this a lot and nothing ever happens. Or my biggest thing is like that's one thought, what else can I come up with?

Megan Devito:

And if we could just say oh well, that's one thought, especially if you're an overthinker or an anxious overthinker where you notice that, like when I think I get more, I feel more anxious, I feel more anxious. That's one thought, but what else could also be true? And being able to say, cut, we do not have to entertain that thought.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yes, there's a framework and I can't remember who it came from, but Dr Amen was talking about it one day, about. You might know it, but it's like you take the thought and you ask yourself is it true? And then is it absolutely true? And then something about like could the opposite opposite, could it also the opposite also possibly be true? And it just teaches you to flip the thought over and it's kind of mind-blowing and it's it is. I've used it a lot I. I've used it to reframe. Okay is, is something really the entire problem? It seems to be. Or does it turn out that one mistake was made and that mistake can be fixed or not made again, and then you carry on and that one mistake didn't ruin everything? Cause that's how you can feel when you feel negative and when you're overthinking. You can feel like one mistake can, has, has or can ruin everything. It's all over. It's crazy.

Megan Devito:

Yeah, we do go off the deep end very quickly with our thoughts.

Jennifer Geneve:

Yeah, too quickly, yeah um, one of the last things I would say is just that this like it's important to talk to people.

Jennifer Geneve:

I I know that one of the first books that I read and one one of the first people I just really wanted to get stuck into when when I wished that I was doing more positive things is Brene Brown's writing about like vulnerability and empathy, and this is the truth of like. Why I share this stuff is this part I think I might be in Rising Strong where she talks about like actually putting effort into connecting with someone else and sharing like what you're going through and if you're sharing it with the right person at the right time, that they like you will get the right understanding from them and they will probably share too. And that's what happened is, when I talked about feeling challenged and I shared it with people, I got nodding. I got people calling me later to say, remember when you said this happened and you felt like that, like can you just tell me more about that? And then when I was hiking the mountain, I literally had people stop me and say I'm up here because of you.

Jennifer Geneve:

I saw on Facebook. I saw that, like the photos that you shared, like saw you've been doing this for 250 days, like wow, and you know, got me thinking like I could go for a daily walk. And so it's through sharing and connection and having that ability to have empathy shared that I just realized that it it cannot hurt to tell this story, because there's so many other people that are feeling exactly the same.

Megan Devito:

I am positive that you just blew some serious minds out there, that you just gave people. People are going to go like there's going to be a run on hiking boots, I'm afraid like it's going to be. This is a big deal.

Megan Devito:

This is so important and I think that just realizing that all of this information is at your fingertips and you just have to decide that you want to do it and take one thing. Again, the idea of one.

Megan Devito:

Please don't try to do everything at once, just pick one thing. If you try and do, the biggest problem is that we want to throw spaghetti at the wall and we want to see just like I'm going to try everything and then, when it's frustrating, there's too much in your brain, it's too overwhelming to choose what's working, what's not. How can I sustain this? But when you pick that one thing whether it's changing what like how late you stay up, are you going to exercise? Are you going to drink a glass of water and take a walk, or are you going to drink wine and eat cookies? Whatever it is that you want to change just one, get that going and then, if you want to add something else, add some more, but you, oh, thank you so much. I'm so glad that you decided to share your story and that you agreed to come on here today, because that is going to make a huge impact on people and that's so important.

Jennifer Geneve:

Oh, thank you so much. That's all that. I wish that that it will help somebody and, uh, I know what it's like, so hopefully it will.

Megan Devito:

Well, tell me if people want to connect with you, um, whether it's on social media or to hear more about your skincare. Oh sure, how did they do that? Yeah, let's, let's share some links.

Jennifer Geneve:

We're. We're on all social media channels as Levine Naturals, so it's spelled the French Canadian way L-A-V-I-G-N-E, so lavigneaturals. com, and on, you know, youtube, tiktok, facebook, whatever, instagram, all of them. Pinterest. And then, as far as personal development, I share, like podcast, interviews and experiences and things that I've done on my personal account, which is Jenn, so it's J E N N and then. G E N E V E.

Megan Devito:

So I will make sure to put those links at the end of the show and notes in the or like in the episode notes, so that people can click on that and shop around and then connect with you. And I don't know if you're, if you're set to private, you can choose what you want to do with that, okay, okay. So thank you so much for being with me. This was great.

Jennifer Geneve:

I really enjoyed it. It was fun to talk about and, yeah, I'm glad that we connected.

Megan Devito:

I hope you enjoyed this episode of the More Than Anxiety podcast. Before you go, be sure to subscribe and leave a review so others can easily find this resource as well. And, of course, if you're ready to feel calm, to stop overthinking and have a lot more fun, you can go to the show notes, click the link and talk to me about coaching. I'll talk to you soon.