Join Jemma Blythe and me inside episode 88. Jemma is a life coach in the UK who helps her clients work through perfectionism to see themselves as perfect as they are.
In this episode, Jemma and I talked about her struggles with everything from PCOS to ADHD and how the key to loving yourself more is loving the not so perfect parts of yourself. Jemma also talks about how she uses journaling as a primary coaching method to help her clients check in with themselves.
Enjoy the episode.
Connect with Jemma on Instagram
Help others find this resource so they can calm, confident, and have more fun by leaving a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review wherever you listen.
Find me on Instagram
Find me on Facebook
Schedule your consultation and let's talk coaching!
Thanks for listening!
Join Jemma Blythe and me inside episode 88. Jemma is a life coach in the UK who helps her clients work through perfectionism to see themselves as perfect as they are.
In this episode, Jemma and I talked about her struggles with everything from PCOS to ADHD and how the key to loving yourself more is loving the not so perfect parts of yourself. Jemma also talks about how she uses journaling as a primary coaching method to help her clients check in with themselves.
Enjoy the episode.
Connect with Jemma on Instagram
Help others find this resource so they can calm, confident, and have more fun by leaving a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review wherever you listen.
Find me on Instagram
Find me on Facebook
Schedule your consultation and let's talk coaching!
Thanks for listening!
Welcome to the More Than Anxiety Podcast. I'm Megan Devito and I'm the life coach for stressed out and anxious women who want more out of life. I'm here to help you create a life you love to live, where anxiety isn't holding you back. Get ready for a lighthearted approach to managing anxiety through actionable steps, a lot of truth, talk and inspiration to take action so you walk away feeling confident, calm and ready to live. Let's get to it. Hey there, welcome to episode 88 of the More Than Anxiety podcast.
Megan Devito:This week, I want to introduce you to Jemma Blythe. Jemma is a life coach, she lives in the UK and she works with a variety of different people who struggle with imperfection, or perfection, as she would call it. Jemma has a quote that she likes to share with people where she says "embrace your imperfections, become empowered to be unique. We have a really great conversation to share with you this week, all about how you can accept who you are, how your body is, and really feel confident and excited about what you bring to the world. We're going to talk about PCOS. We're going to talk about ADHD, about being perfect and about really loving yourself through journaling. This is going to be a great one. Enjoy the episode.
Megan Devito:Hey everybody, welcome to episode 88 of the More Than Anxiety podcast. I'm so excited to have you back again this week. Whether you're watching on YouTube or you're listening on a podcast platform, I have a great interview to share with you today with Jemma Blythe. She is going to talk about being perfect and how you don't need to do that at all. So, Jemma, welcome. Thank you so much for joining me. Can you introduce yourself? Tell everyone about yourself and what you do.
Jemma Blythe:Hey, it's my pleasure to be here. I'm a life coach from the UK and I have basically struggled with imperfections like my PCOS diagnosis and CPTSD,
Megan Devito:S o all of these different things it. different situations or medical diagnoses in your life and they feel like imperfections. Okay, so did this? Was this something that you've been dealing with since you, you said CPTSD, so I'm wondering like this started back when you were a child. Is that part of your story? Tell me how these things come together. I like all the twists and turns and how these things that so many people and so many of the people who listen to this podcast are dealing absolutely with anxiety. But what about PCOS? What about everything else? Tell me more.
Jemma Blythe:So in my late teens, early twenties, I started to get really short stabbing pains in my stomach and I'd always struggled with like irregular periods since I was probably early teens, something like that and I thought, okay, maybe this is normal for me. But then when I started to get towards like 18, 19, they still hadn't leveled out and by this point I was like skipping my period for like six months, and at that time I was in a really rocky relationship. So I thought maybe it's down to that, maybe it's stress putting my hormones out of whack, um. But then I went to the doctor and they sent me for some tests and the test took, I want to say, about 18 months. So during that time I went into A&E I think once over here, okay, um, and they prescribed me buscopan for like irritable bowel syndrome, which is, of course, was nothing like what I was going through um, and then they put me on birth control to regulate my periods, because that just seems to be the easiest thing to do, isn't it?
Jemma Blythe:So, yeah, and then from there on, I went down like the holistic route, doing a lot of yoga, that kind of thing. But, of course, if you lose your concentration, like I do, it's not the easiest thing to do.
Megan Devito:Yeah, and that's I mean. I have so many questions already just because I think as women, and you read about it all the time on social media, or you hear about it, you go to coffee with your friends, and everybody has a story about, "I don't know. The doctor told me not to worry about it, and so here you are showing up as still really, I mean, as a 17, 18 year old, 19 year old, you're young! I mean, no one's, it's like this giant club that we all got born into and there's a secret code that nobody ever teaches you. Yeah, yeah. So it's like is this normal? Maybe? Is it not, maybe? We don't know, but then it's. And then when you go to address it and you're told oh, here's some medicine, see what's up with this? Yeah, come on. So here you are, in the middle of this. Tell me more.
Jemma Blythe:It just seems to be the easiest answer, like throw medicine at it. Here's some tablets, take those. Yeah, well, that's not the easy thing. You need to be tackling what you're taking tablets for. But yeah, it just seems to be one big black hole where PCOS and other women's health conditions goes down and nothing's ever done about it. It's just dusted over and covered back up again with a carpet.
Megan Devito:Yeah, someone asked me again. I really I think I spend way too much time on social media. But there was another thing that I saw the other day and the question was how many of your mothers talk to you about menopause? And everybody was like no, no, no, no, no. And I have been like okay, mom, listen to me, is this normal? And she's like, oh, everything's normal and nothing is normal. So I've been lucky enough to have really good conversations, but I think, unless we do have mothers or sisters or grandmothers who can kind of tell us, that's not normal, we just assume everything is, because it does get brushed under the rug and that can cause a lot of anxiousness and feeling like, well, obviously I'm messed up. Yeah, and I've talked a lot on this podcast about hormones and how wicked they are with anxiety. So how did you handle all of this?
Jemma Blythe:I basically started journaling right from an early age because I thought why should I feel left out? Why should I be the one that's not getting treatment or anything like that and sitting back and waiting for things to happen? My impatience kicked in and I started to want to do things for me so I journaled. I changed the way I ate as much as I could, yeah, whilst still enjoying my food and just tried to be a bit happier with that and for any.
Megan Devito:That is a lot. That's stuff that people are like like I have no idea how that would ever happen.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah it's just the way that I found that I knew how, um, and I mean then I started looking online and things like that, um, and it's like only me and my mum here now. So when I got diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, that was put down to the fact of it's just me and my mum, my dad having passed away quite a number of years ago. So it was put down to that years ago. So it was put down to that, um, and to some degree I disagree with that. Yeah, that played a part, but there's so much else going on in our brains, and certainly in mine, that just gets forgotten because people have these big milestones in their life like losing a parent, losing grandparents, and then things that are going on just get lost and forgotten because there's just nobody there to answer those questions that they've got of. Is that normal?
Megan Devito:Yeah for sure. So you had lost your dad and of course that's grief and anxiety and sadness and all of those things just get all knotted up in our nervous system would be the best way I could describe it. But in the meantime you also have this PCOS diagnosis that no one's really talking about. So you said I don't think it was all grief because you had so much else going on. Do you feel that the PCOS was playing a part in that? Like, how did it related to you feeling anxious?
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, I think so because I was having so many other symptoms, like heavy periods, some months, really painful periods the next month, then other months just nothing.
Jemma Blythe:So I think, certainly when I was in school and things like that, I was terrified about bleeding through my clothes, um, and being that girl you know, yeah, um, and that that was always such a big worry to me. So I was never comfortable at school. Yeah, um, I was always the kid that was just shoved to the back and forgotten about, um, so sometimes I would struggle with my work and there would be no help. So again me being me got back and straight into doing my own research, my own revision, my own learning, and that's never stopped to be, honest um, which is another reason why I wanted to be a life coach and why I wanted to help other women.
Megan Devito:I love that, that you're just like jumping in, you're like, fine, I'll handle it myself, which is such a I mean a great trait. But we also know it's one of those traits that it does come from some sort of trauma, right? Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, definitely yeah, so being able to jump in for yourself. And then you said, okay, I'm gonna be a life coach yeah all right yeah, I wanted to help.
Jemma Blythe:As soon as I knew about life coaching, I thought that's what I want to do. I want to show other women and other people that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You haven't got to let every obstacle get in your way. I mean, back then I was surrounded by really powerful adult figures. I had friends all around me that were older and adult and I had, I think, one friend my own age. But came with that came a whole load of opinions and thoughts of what I should be doing and what I shouldn't be doing, and this, that and the other, and I stuck with it for a while and then I thought, well, well, hang on, I'm losing myself. Why am I losing myself? Yeah, and I thought, because I'm listening to other people and letting other people's thoughts get in my head, and that was keeping me so small that it was damaging my confidence yeah and not allowing me to just breathe.
Jemma Blythe:Yes, all of yeah, I mean. I was always told like don't touch this, don't touch that, stay quiet, don't do this. The one time, I think, at school I had the nerve to shout, and I think I was on break and a teacher came over and told me to 'shut up', um, so that for like 14 year old me, was just like don't say anything. Be a good girl. Yeah, I mean.
Megan Devito:and now when I look back, I want to strangle that person yes, because. As a former teacher, I kind of want to strangle her too.
Jemma Blythe:Because it made me feel so small and so insignificant. Yeah.
Megan Devito:And I was like I'm normally quiet, like the one time where I'm noisy, loud, I get picked up on it.
Megan Devito:Yeah, yeah, I love this, just as it's noticing that what is going on here and then having that realization that, oh, this is because I'm doing what everyone else thinks I should do. I also was one of the people where I'm like it's funny. My mom will tell you that I've always been an arm's length like a pushback person, which is so funny because some people will be like 'oh, there's like hidden trauma' and I'm like literally none. It's just like having this thing where if I don't do what everybody else does, then I don't have to fit in and I'm doing it on purpose. So it's me controlling, oh, I'm not going to fit in, or feeling like. I mean feeling probably a lot like I didn't fit in when I was little, just because, I I don't know, I don't even know. I thought I was different, but I I mean hindsight, I probably wasn't but always being like, if everyone else is doing it, then no, like I very much. And I still feel that resistance in myself all the time where it would be like everyone's doing this and I'm like well, I'm not, which is so - I mean it's probably, there's probably something going on there. But it is great that you did that and that you said oh wait, a second life coaching. I think we're in,
Megan Devito:I had this conversation yesterday with someone that I worked with that we said that, as I mean, she and I are both late 40s and talking about some of these kids are going to get eaten alive. Like you have to be willing to do things that you don't like and that you are uncomfortable with, I'm like I don't like that, I'm not going to do that, and I'm like you're going down. If there's ever a plague or a thing I mean something, a zombie apocalypse, I'm like you guys are all going to die and it's just going to be us old people left, because I feel like there's so much, like it's too scary, it's too hard. I have all these thoughts. This is like I'm not good enough, I'm not perfect. But you said, oh wait, a minute, I can change this for myself. I wish everybody understood that.
Megan Devito:I think that is such a great message that you have. You don't have to be perfect and you don't have to do it right. You just have to decide that you're going to make changes. Tell me about how you're coaching with imperfection and on perfection, or however you do that. Tell me how that works for you.
Jemma Blythe:So any obstacles people have, I always get them to write them out and then flip it, so as if somebody says, no, you can't do that. And if that gets into your head, like it normally does, and irritates you so much that you just don't do what they said, write it down. And then write down why you don't do that and then consider what would happen if you did do that. Because it's important, I think, for us all to recognize that perfection keeps us so small that we chase after perfection so often because of either schoolwork, housework, relationships, things like that, that it's almost like this myth that we chase after why, when we can just be ourselves with slight imperfections along the way which make us perfect in our own eyes.
Jemma Blythe:I think it's important to recognize that we have imperfections in our social lives, in our relationships, but those are what makes them ours and it wouldn't be our social life or our relationships without the imperfections. So imperfections, I believe, are there to be embraced and not pushed away, because if you push away those imperfections, you push away the characteristics and your personality along the way. So that's what I try and teach, I suppose, because it's it's important like our lives are like a patchwork quilt. Nothing is perfect. Nothing fits in, but that's imperfect. But it's perfect to us. Yes.
Jemma Blythe:But, yeah, that's my idea behind Imperfectly Perfect.
Megan Devito:I think it's great and I you know, with this idea that we're all supposed to be perfect and we see so much of this on social media, with influencers and people only showing you their highlight reel and everything that's so great. Like look how clean my house is, and I'm like I don't think that's a real house, like you don't have dogs or kids or dirt or dust or anything, you don't open your windows. But we see that and we think that's the way it's supposed to be. I called this Martha Stewart syndrome for a really long time, where there was this beautiful kitchen with this perfect food and there wasn't anything anywhere and then I was like wait a minute, that is staged for a photo shoot. But you have to remind yourself of that and really just the idea that if everybody was that way, we would never have anything unique about ourselves. And it's really our uniqueness that we need.
Megan Devito:Everyone has I bring this up almost every single episode that everyone has a gift, everyone has a uniqueness, everyone has a reason that they were created and that they are here. And we need everybody living entirely differently and doing things crazy and different and certainly not perfect, because that's how things change and that's how we make progress, and just the fact that you can bring that to the world and say wait a second, imperfect, this is exactly perfect. This is what we need. I don't want any more of this fake stuff. The whole 'social media is fake' thing right now. I love it because I'm like, yes, it is. We're all telling you what the ideal is, but it's all based on what we think the ideal is. My ideal is certainly not somebody else's ideal. My daughter, my 15 year old, tells me every day that my ideas are dumb.
Jemma Blythe:That's okay. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, I think as well. I mean, like, take my own room.
Jemma Blythe:At the moment, I've got like piles of paperwork up at the side of me that I haven't been bothered to go through, to be quite honest, because my brain just goes, nope, you're not doing that today. No, and I just think, well, that's clearly not what I'm meant to do. So, yeah, it's imperfect, but in my eyes it's perfect because it's not what I should be doing. And then, like, I was talking with one of my friends about social media and about Instagram and, um, she said, I love the idea of Instagram being the way that it used to be, whereas, like, we all used to share different things from our lives and nothing had to be perfect, nothing had to have like a visual filter over it and whatever. And then, like, now everything's Instagram versus reality and I'm like, well, it should be reality versus reality, because there's nothing that said with the same person, whether we're on social media or in real life with the same person, so why separate that? I said that just that's not right when you think about it.
Megan Devito:Yeah, and it was Instagram for a reason, cause it was - it used to be, I think for anybody who is too young to remember, this Instagram used to be like a picture that you took on the fly. Like post this picture of what you're doing right now, like just for fun, which, I mean. And now we have location mapping. There's all kinds of reasons that maybe that's not the best idea now, but when it came out, it really was, Hey, this is my life right now, in this moment. My kid is crying, there's a mess all over the kitchen and I'm trying to work from home and I can't get anything done. So this is my life right now. And it wasn't like let me set this all up and be beautiful with my clean computer and my perfect cup of coffee with, like, the foam design. I would love to be able to make those.
Jemma Blythe:I know, yeah, yeah, everything's a stock photo yeah, I mean, like for me, the only time that I would ever use stock photos are in my newsletters and things like that to make them look a little bit better, but that's the only time that I would ever use them. Because I'm thinking, well, what kind of a life coach would I be if I was putting things out there that was like over edited and this, that and the other, and it takes me ages to do a transition on a reel. Just one transition. Me too. I love it because otherwise I wouldn't have like the load of outtakes that I can use for other reels that maybe don't have the same message. Yeah, um, but yeah, I mean my thing is is just make life a load of outtakes, because that's what life is.
Megan Devito:It is and that's how we grow. Yeah, yeah, it is funny. Another thing that, now that we're on this social media tangent that I've seen so recently that I can feel myself wrestling with is the idea of I think there's benefits to this, but I also think that it could get sticky really quickly, and that is everyone's self-diagnosing, me included. I'll be like, oh my gosh, look at this, I've got this thing. And how you know, if we look at things like certainly autism. Yes, I mean, it is a wide spectrum, I mean you can have. I truly believe that everyone has at least one autistic trait, because I think that's just human brain function, but then you can also be severe and profound, right, like you can. There's, it's a spectrum for a reason.
Megan Devito:But all of these people that are just like striving for a diagnosis and my question always is, and maybe this is my neuro-linguistic programming stuff, but why do you need that? What is it about that sticker that you want? Yes, because you get to know what's actually going on, and I think there's some value in that in creating systems that help you, but I see so many people using it as a crutch or as an excuse to be like 'oh well, I can't do that because I have this one thing' where I'm like well, that one thing could actually give you the tools that you need to be able to say yes, I have this and this is a hiccup for me, and I'm creating these systems, I'm creating these resources or these habits to help me be able to say, oh yeah, my brain does this, so instead I need to do it this way, whereas it's like I can't because I have this and I'm like what?
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, I mean you could say the same thing about me, because I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD yet.
Megan Devito:Oh me neither but a hundred percent.
Jemma Blythe:It's something that I've always had in the background and as soon it was one of those things where somebody said ADHD to me. I was at work, I think last year. Yeah, last year somebody mentioned in passing, have you got ADHD? And I was like, well, I don't know, because I've never had that conversation, and I went away, looked like the symptoms and everything, and I'm thinking that's me on paper, yeah, and everything just went. It makes sense.
Jemma Blythe:Um, but for me, I love being able to recognize the problems that I have and then create other ways of dealing with those problems. Yes, so rather than fighting against it, which I believe could make it worse anyway, I prefer to work with it and think well, if I can't do that today, it's not a big deal. I won't beat myself up about things. I spent ages beating myself up about things in my childhood and in my teenage years, when I was diagnosed with PCOS and everything else that they put on me, because I thought, well, what's the point? And then I thought, no, I can fight against this, I can change it. So that's always been my theory around things like that Things can be changed and worked with instead of working against and fighting against, because it creates a lot of internal struggle when you do that and it's not worth it.
Megan Devito:So tell me a little bit about when you are working with a client, a coaching client, and they come to you for perfection. They're struggling with trying to be perfect in some area of their life. I know your message is really that we have to embrace this imperfection. We have to learn how to run with it and make it be something that empowers you. How do you move them from saying I'm not good enough, I'm not perfect enough, I'm a hot mess, whatever they say, to a place where they are using those imperfections as power?
Jemma Blythe:I ask them to think back to their small achievements, like smallest of small achievements, and then write down the qualities that they possessed while they made those achievements. And I ask them to build up on those qualities. The more we focus on our positive qualities, the more we can use those to embody ourselves later on, and then that can be used as almost like building blocks. So you lay the foundations, then you build the bricks and then you can build up. So then you can protect yourself against the opinions coming in and against yourself, even when you have those negative thoughts.
Jemma Blythe:I mean, when I have negative thoughts, the first thing that I do is I write down what I achieved, when I achieved it, and then I write down the qualities that I possessed at that time, just so then I can look back on that. Oh good, and everybody can relate to that, because everybody has done something that they're proud of. It doesn't matter what you've done that you're proud of. You've done something that you can then change into something positive that you can use later on. I mean, when I was going through therapy, a lot of the things that came up for me were ADHD related. I didn't recognize that until I sat down with my own thoughts and my own journal and I was reading my journal and I'm thinking that's me, that's what he's just diagnosed. But without those thoughts and without going back over what I'd already written, I wouldn't have that, I'd still be at the crossroads.
Megan Devito:Yeah, and I'm so glad that you go back and read your journal because I also I have stacks of journals that I've built up and I think it's so powerful in that place. I mean, and some people I know some people love to do it on their phone, but for me I want colored pens and paper. Like I need there's that connection between that mind, that mind body connection when you're really actually writing it down. If you are a journaler that's journaling on your computer, I'm going to challenge you, after you listen to this episode, to just get yourself a really I mean, I don't care if you just go buy a spiral bound notebook or a really pretty journal and some colorful pens and see what happens when you move it to paper. Because, as a former teacher, I will tell you that my students, I want them to take notes on paper. I want them to use color, I want them to draw that connection. And the way it solidifies things and opens things up inside of your brain when you're actually writing it out is profoundly different than when you're hammering away on a keyboard. You'll remember it better, you'll open your brain up to new thoughts. So the fact that you're writing it down first of all journaling is so good but that you go back and read it.
Megan Devito:This was the one thing that when people say what got me,
Megan Devito:So my backstory is a lot of years of really intense health anxiety and one of the things that got me to a point where I was like wait a minute was something as simple as writing down pretty sure, I have cancer, these are my symptoms.
Megan Devito:This is where I felt it and what it felt like. And I was actually recording all of these thoughts to try to show my doctor how long ago like, when did this start? You know, they ask you that and I'm like I don't know, and I would notice that as I would go back and read, I'd be like wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I felt the same way a million times. I'm not any sicker and now I think it's something different and I just my journaling helped prove myself wrong. But it also, as it's progressed, as I've changed how I journaled, I'm no longer journaling that way, but just being able to see oh look, how much that thought has changed and just intentionally changing your thought from. I'm not perfect enough to look at these things that I'm actually doing. I'm learning, my brain is changing, which is really what we're doing as coaches is helping people change their brains.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah.
Megan Devito:Yeah, on purpose.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, I mean a lot of what I do, certainly in like the newsletter on a Monday when that goes out. I've got a list of journal prompts on there and we change weekly. So there's about four journal prompts that I include every week. Last week was a bit different because I got people to think about their future selves and where they wanted to be, because we don't very often focus on that question. Whenever we do, we focus on the blocks and the imperfections that stop us from getting there, but it's about empowering yourself and getting over that and using the techniques of working out what you're proud of, using those feelings at the time and putting that all together and creating your future, but written down for you.
Megan Devito:There's so much power in that statement about creating your future instead of just letting it happen and hoping that you make it through.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, yeah, I mean, we don't get anywhere by sitting back and it'd be lovely if we did Right. But that real power is using the inner work that we can do on ourselves to make sure that we get to where we want to be, on ourselves to make sure that we get to where we want to be, and a lot of the time that means pushing people away that hold negativity towards you or have those negative thoughts towards you, because you don't need that. Life's too short to have that anywhere near you. Yes, yeah. So that's why I include the journaling prompts, because that's so important to me and has been so important to me since I was young.
Megan Devito:I think that's fantastic. I love that I might have to start thinking of some journal prompts to help people, because I do it and I tell people to do it, but sometimes getting started journaling is hard. Like what do I write? It's so cute, like I really started journaling because my grandmother journaled and she would write down like what she ate for dinner, and what the weather was like outside, or the price of corn or something like that. I mean she was a farmer's wife and she would keep down to like farm things and made a new recipe, or went to church and it was 70 degrees. And I noticed that I do these same things because I thought it was so adorable that for years and years and years I mean I could probably go back to like 1981 if I could find her journal and be like on this day in 1981, the temperature was this and this is what my grandma ate for dinner.
Megan Devito:Oh I love that. Very unimportant, but to me I was like, oh, I mean, that was kind of inspiring, which is really. But I love that.
Jemma Blythe:I mean, that's another thing. Journals haven't got to follow any pattern. They can be different and they can be like just what you did yesterday or things like that, but the key thing is is going back and noticing the patterns. If there are any patterns there, noticing them, so then you've got them later on, for if somebody asks you, like your doctor or your counselor or something like that, so then you can hand over the evidence of this is what I've got. These are the symptoms, symptoms I had. You tell me what I'm struggling with, because then they can't give you the easy way out.
Megan Devito:Here's a pill.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, I hate that phrase.
Megan Devito:Yeah, yes, I know, and there's, and so many things you know, so much of medicine now is just like, well, we can make you feel better, and I'm like, no, I want you to get to the bottom of it. And I think we are moving in a direction, at least in the States. We're moving in a direction where people are starting to really ask for that. But, yes, and I don't want my back to hurt anymore. But why does my back hurt? And what do we have to do to make it not hurt? Besides, take this pill. Like, what can I do to you know, is this a movement issue? Is this a surgery issue? Like, what is causing this? So that I can actually heal my body? And I think that's such a big thing. And knowing that you can heal your body, but also that you can heal what you think, you don't have to think, yeah, the way you do yeah, no, you don't.
Jemma Blythe:Things can, even when you make a small decision. It might be small at the time, but it can change your pathway, yeah, completely into the future, and that, for me, exciting. I used to be so terrified of that, but now I'm using the right techniques and introducing what should be imperfect but turning it into a perfect. That, to me, is exciting now.
Megan Devito:It's powerful and it's hopeful. Yeah, there's so much hope in that, yeah, yeah, when you don't walk around feeling like nothing's right and you have this hope of saying, oh my gosh, this is exactly the way I'm supposed to be.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, I mean. The other day I shared a reel of my PCOS symptoms on Instagram. I didn't call them PCOS symptoms, I called them imperfectly perfects, because without them I wouldn't be who I am today. I'd be somebody completely different. And who knows if I'd be happier? Probably not because I wouldn't have met the people around me who I met, because life would be completely different.
Megan Devito:Yeah, that radical acceptance is kind of the; it's been coming out of my mouth or coming into my head so much just in the last couple of weeks. Just radical acceptance, Acceptance of okay, this is where we are.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, yeah. But I mean, the more you fight against it, the more harm you do yourself, because it's not nice to get into that place. That's all tense and twisty inside it, awful. So sometimes it's just easier to either journal it, talk to a friend about it, because only then can you begin acceptance of who you are. And a lot of the time people fight against that because they don't feel like they can connect to people.
Jemma Blythe:But in this day and age you've got people online. You've got support groups. Use them. If you can't use your journal, use people online. Use the support groups, just as long as you're recognizing how you're feeling and you're turning your thoughts inward to check in on yourself. That's the most important thing, because there's so much of this checking in on each other and checking in on friends and things like that. If you haven't got that close-knit network, you need to be able to check in on yourself and notice how you're feeling and why. And if it's not great, write down something positive. Go back to your different affirmations, go back to your positive characteristics that you've got and look at them and sometimes repeat them in the mirror. I know that sounds stupid, but sometimes it feels really awkward too, doesn't it?
Megan Devito:yeah, but yeah, you're like oh, I don't know.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah, as difficult and as, yeah, cringy as it may feel, it helps, it does.
Megan Devito:yes, I did - and her high five, like the high five in the mirror thing. Yeah, it's so weird, there was a it but, it's it works.
Jemma Blythe:It does. It's so powerful, yeah, and it's powerful for a reason because it blooming works.
Megan Devito:It does, and it is very awkward and a little cringy. I have this when I have someone who I'm coaching that's working through different issues and we do this exercise, where I'm like you need to have a full-on conversation, like eye contact with yourself in the mirror, and they're like, oh, I don't know. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, I'm like we're going to keep doing this until you make yourself cry, because that's how we know when it worked, as soon as you can say something that hits so deep that you've made yourself cry, I'm like now we're open, now let's do the dirt, like let's get in the dirt and see what we can work out.
Jemma Blythe:But yeah, it is powerful yeah, yeah, it is just having that deeper connection with yourself. It's sometimes all that's needed, um, I mean, like when I was talking to my therapist, talking to him was good, but I needed something deeper um, and yeah, he helped me massively with my CPTSD, which is something that I never thought was possible but that filled in the gap between me journaling and me actually needing some help. So I think that's important to recognize when you're struggling with your mental health and things like that. It's important to recognize when you do need help. Yes, because journaling is brilliant.
Jemma Blythe:Journaling can fill in the cracks. Because journaling is brilliant. Journaling can fill in the cracks, but when those cracks appear bigger and this is why you also need to journal to recognize when the cracks are appearing bigger. And it's not something to be ashamed of. Needing help is never something to be ashamed of, because everybody needs help at least once in their lives For sure, because that's another thing as well with being like a life coach and things like that. I've noticed when people need help when they've seen me, and I think I'm not a medical professional, but I can point you in the right direction.
Megan Devito:Yes, that is so important for everyone to hear right now. We're not going to try to diagnose you as coaches, and we are going to get you to somebody who can. If this is not a coaching issue, if this is bigger, if you are a danger to yourself or to someone else, we're going to send you to the person who you need to go to. We'll help you with do the like. We're going to help fill in the cracks, for sure, and stretch you and get you to think differently. But when it comes to diagnoses and really being safe inside your own body, we will help you find someone that can do that, but please don't ask us as coaches to do that.
Jemma Blythe:I wouldn't recommend it. No, yeah, I think that's so important, like, and that's why the relationship with your inner self needs to be as good as it can be. Yes, because you're the person that knows your body inside and out. Nobody else does. Yeah, so that's how you recognize when something's wrong, when something's not quite right yeah, that's so true.
Megan Devito:So how, how do people find you? People who are feeling like I can't do anything right, I'm always messing up, nothing is ever perfect enough. Where do they find you? How do they contact you? How can they get your newsletter work with you?
Jemma Blythe:So I am on Instagram, primarily @jemmaeblythe. From there you'll be able to click the link in my bio and find my newsletter, and you can always send me a DM on Instagram and we can sort something out with working together.
Megan Devito:Great, and I will make sure to include the link to your Instagram in there so that they can check that out and get in contact with you and get your newsletter. And go out and buy yourself a notebook or pens or a journal. And get her newsletter, because she's going to send you the prompts that you need so that you can stop trying to be a perfectionist.
Jemma Blythe:And not only that, but when you subscribe you get a free wellness workbook - Ooh, okay, that's fun - which goes through the different ways to accept your imperfections too. Oh, that's so cool. So there's a whole process.
Megan Devito:I think that is amazing.
Jemma Blythe:From goal setting to then accepting, and you actually create an action plan as well. -Beautiful- So, yeah, That's like a whole coaching toolkit. Amazing. - I wanted to do that so then when people sign up, they get something back yeah, immediately. So it's something that they can refer back to, as well as like a stepping stone between nothing and a journal. Yes, yeah, perfect.
Megan Devito:Sometimes really having those scripted questions to start out with gets you in that mode, so that's great.
Jemma Blythe:Yeah.
Megan Devito:Jemma, thank you so much for joining me and it has been a pleasure to talk with you. Definitely give her a follow on Instagram and I will link all of those things in the show notes and then in the section on YouTube where everybody can find you. I hope you get tons of followers. I hope you guys really go through the workbook that she offers, take time and think. I know it can feel like slowing down and stopping, and that's really what it's about is slowing down, pressing pause and looking at what needs to happen. So Jemma has a ton of great resources and I so enjoyed this conversation today. Thank you for joining me.
Jemma Blythe:It's been my absolute pleasure. Thank you for having me.
Megan Devito:Yes, we'll talk soon, definitely. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the More Than Anxiety podcast. Before you go, be sure to subscribe and leave a review so others can easily find this resource as well. And, of course, if you're ready to feel more relaxed, have more energy, more confidence and a lot more fun, you can go to the show notes, click the link and talk to me about coaching. Talk to you soon.